Encyclopedia of American Loons

Being a Professor of Medicine, Physiology & Biophysics at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center doesn’t mean that you understand or accept science as an effective method of inquiry, and Robert Eckel surely doesn’t. Though he has some scientific publications in unrelated fields, Eckel is opposed to the application of scientific standards to fields he clearly doesn’t know much about. He is, for instance, a hardcore creationist and both a signatory the Discovery Institute’s petition A Scientific Dissent from Darwinism and on the CMI list of scientists alive today who accept the biblical account of creation.

Eckel thinks that evolution is just a theory (so he doesn’t really understand the basics of science in general), and that evolution being just a theory immediately entails that the Biblical account of creation is equally valid and that creationists and scientists just interpret the same data using different worldviews (which could only work if you overlook the fact that creationists just reject almost all the data, but really not even then). So why do so many scientist subscribe to evolution? Well, thinks Eckel, it’s because they haven’t accepted Jesus. But of course.

Diagnosis: Yet another raging fundamentalist anti-science champion. The US is apparently crammed with them, but Eckel has credentials that might make him look, to those who don’t care to look too closely, as if his claims should actually carry some weight, which they shouldn’t.

We sincerely believe that anti-abortion activists are motivated by good intentions and a sincere conviction that they’re cause is just. We’ll even, at least for the sake of argument, grant that the moral questions surrounding abortion are tricky ones. Being opposed to abortion is consequently not lunacy. However, plenty of anti-abortion activists are motivated not by moral considerations but by religious fanaticism, and given the poor compatibility of reason and religious fanaticism it’s not very surprising that you’ll encounter some egregious lunacy among the pro-life movement. Gingi Edmonds, for instance, is positively deranged. Edmonds has been associated for Survivors of the Abortion Holocaust, a group picketing abortion clinics, and in the wake of a tragic plane crash in Montana in 2009, she penned an article for Christian Newswire claiming that the crash was God’s punishment for abortion – you see, some of the victims were relatives of the owner of Family Planning Associates, a chain of clinics that also does abortions, so clearly God killed 14 people (7 of them children) to make a point. “I don’t want to turn this tragic event into some creepy spiritual ‘I told you so’ moment,” said Edmonds, and proceeded to do precisely that. At least she received the support of one Scott Johnson, who must surely be one of the craziest people we have yet to encounter on the Internet.

Edmonds did receive some flak for that article. Her response to critics is not the work of a minimally reasonable human being: Apparently her opponents are “abortion-loving” and “support and applaud the regular targeting of churches, synagogues, forestry companies, corporate and university-based medical research laboratories, medical-supply firms, fur farms and other industrial buildings.” Therefore, they are not in any position to criticize anti-abortion activists’ acts of terrorism.

Oh, but there are also conspiracies. According to Edmonds, Planned Parenthood’s real end game is to legalize child pornography and prostitution. And the Obama administration is involved as well: David Ogden, Obama’s hand-picked Deputy Attorney General, is for instance “adamantly pro-child pornography.”

Diagnosis: A hideous creature; depraved, insane and thoroughly reason-challenged.

DNA is certainly one of the wonders of biology. And the crackpots know to exploit ordinary people’s sense of wonder and complete lack of understanding of how DNA works to make the most ridiculous claims. We have already discussed Toby Alexander. Ted Edwards, however, might outclass him for sheer in(s)anity. Edwards has, according to himself, been “involved in healing and healthcare through metaphysical and quantum physics for nearly 30 years now,” which, we are pretty confident, means that he doesn’t have the faintest clue about what quantum physics (or metaphysics) is. He has, however, practiced “Polarity Therapy,” which is “actually based on the science, art and philosophy of Chiropractic which I discovered (to my surprise) when I was in Chiropractic College.” He has also “studied numerous healing techniques” and been “told that I’m a pretty good healer. I’m a bit of a medical intuitive as well.” Or “severely delusional”, as others will tend to call it.

But what does he do to your DNA? Well, we can let him try to explain it himself:

“DNA Reprogramming is a step-by-step application that eliminates a negative and inputs a positive. A key to DNA Reprogramming is that everything you do, every step you take, is tested to make sure you’re moving toward a higher state of health. Your Cerebrospinal Kinesiology indicator pulse enables me to communicate with your life-force, to ask questions and get answers from you mind-body. Essentially we can have a conversation with your DNA. It’s like looking into the body and seeing exactly what is going on.”

And if that doesn’t sound sufficiently fringe-lunatic to you: “We apply principles gained from ‘THE SECRET.TV’ and strive to think about what we do want to the exclusion of what we don’t want.” That’s right: Edwards will apply The Secret to your DNA. And not only that, “What tHe BLEEP Do eW (K)now!? made me appreciate what we do know” and aliens sleep at R’lyeh and the owls are not what they seem to be and gaaah (remember that this guy claimed to have been involved in quantum physics for 30 year and still apparently fell for What the Bleep; that would have been sort of like being a car mechanic for thirty years before learning from a spam email that all car engines are really gremlins on hamster wheels). “The message from the quantum world is much the same as that of THE SECRET. The uncertainty principle provides us hope, it empowers you.” Oh, yes, bring it on, Ted Edwards. Some of his ideas are apparently based on the ideas of Pjots Garjajev, who claims that a “phantom DNA” phenomenon is behind crop circles.

But exactly how well does Edwards understand how DNA works? “Whether we realize it or not we actually talk to our DNA and it talks back to us […] DNA Reprogramming treatment [is in] essence a new software program [that] is downloaded into the body in regards to something that the body isn’t handling normally – such as an allergy to pets. After this new software is downloaded it has to be installed. This occurs over a period of time normally spanning 24-36 hours – it can be longer in very chronic cases where communication has been damaged for many years. During this period old files are deleted […] Once the installation is complete and all the old files deleted the reaction to the substance that previously caused the body so much consternation is gone.”

Not the faintest clue, in other words. Oh, and there are also vibrations. We can reprogram the “DNA in living organisms using the correct resonant frequencies. This is precisely what is being done by the various allergy elimination techniques. We find the resonant frequency that is causing the body a problem – say the resonant frequency of the herpes virus.” Yes, it’s good vibrations, and as usual they herald the dawn of the New Age.

Diagnosis: I know: You want to know what he’s been smoking. But unfortunately Edwards is probably only naturally silly and flaky.

I think this is the guy - it's a still from
youtube of someone blathering about
the Revici cures at least.

Quacks are a dime a dozen, but few seems to require more gullibility on the part of their victims than William Kelley Eidem. Eidem is the author of the book The Doctor That Cures Cancer, the blurb of which reads: “The controversial Emanuel Revici, M.D., [whom retired MD Lynne August calls “the Einstein of medicine”] made the bones grow back in cancer patients, and restored health to AIDS patients as well as drug addicts and alcoholics. His medicines lifted debilitating migraines in as little as 3 minutes. Revici’s reward? He was attacked and ostracized by the best. JAMA published false reports about his work. The American Cancer Society blasted him time and again. Meanwhile, word of mouth brought new patients to see him for decades. The smears didn’t work, so something more needed to be done. This is the true story of the greatest medical scientist who has ever lived. Find out what happened to Dr. Revici and find out how you can use the principles of his discoveries to reverse even advanced cancers and many other illnesses.” The methods are briefly described here.It’s insane gibberish and quackery, and that is to put it pretty mildly. (The JAMA report, by the way, was a small prospective study of Revici’s methods from 1965: Of 33 cases with established cancer 22 died, 8 left the study because they were unimproved by the treatment, and the final three still alive under Revici’s care 18 months later all exhibited signs of tumor progression. But you know. Conspiracies and so on.)

What’s Eidem’s evidence for the efficacy of the methods? Oh, he’s got an anecdote – himself: “One morning as I was about to step into the shower, I noticed a couple of large round looking red splotches on my thigh and calf. They were about the size of a half dollar,” which is almost definitely not cancer but a skin rash. Why did Eidem think it was cancer? He used … a pregnancy test: “Many years earlier, I’d also learned that the common pregnancy tests sold in drug stores will sometimes produce a positive result if the person taking the test has cancer.” So he took a pregnancy test, which he claims was positive; therefore cancer. He didn’t bother seeking out a doctor, since chemotherapy is apparently worthless anyways. Instead, he applied his own methods, and … “All of my lesions went away in about four or five days.” Suffice to say: If you think there is any point in investigating his methods further you probably deserve an entry in our Encyclopedia yourself.

Diagnosis: Batshit insane. Keep a safe distance. Probably not much influence, though.

Cedarville University is one of the most zealous anti-science institutions in the US. It offers a parody of education to some 3500 students based on a commitment to a literal, “grammatical/historical” interpretation of the Bible. Their “science” faculty tends to be committed to young-earth creationism, and Lee Eimers, Professor of Physics & Mathematics, is a case in point. Eimers does, admittedly, possess a real science education, but he does not appear to have any academic publications or to have been involved in anything remotely resembling scientific research. He has, however, debated “people who believe in the theory of evolution” and is a signatory both to the Discovery Institute’s amazingly dishonest petition A Scientific Dissent From Darwinism and the CMI list of scientists alive today who accept the Biblical account of creation.

Diagnosis: Another undercover anti-science zealot. Eimers appears to have little clue about how science or evidence actually works, and dismisses its results apparently out of hand, but has nevertheless worked hard to gain the credentials that might make it look otherwise to those who don’t know better.

Victor “Vic” Carl Eliason is the grumpy, insane, old fundie who founded (and prominently presents his views on) the wingnut Milwaukee-based VCY America Radio Network, in particular the Crosstalk section. Eliason is certifiably and proudly evil, and in fact sufficiently crazy to have received an honorary Doctorate of Laws degree from Bob Jones University.

Eliason is a birther and avowed fan of the works of Jerome Corsi, and has just enough insight to realize that he’s not being taken seriously on the issue by anyone not completely unhinged: people “call us just a bunch of crazies, radicals, birthers” and people like himself “get a label, an epithet that kind of raises a shadow over” their arguments. Indeed. To help remedy that impression of him Eliason has voiced his suspicion that Chuck Hagel is a secret Muslim, and has assented to the claim that President Obama is a communist Muslim out to destroy America, saying that the truth of the claim is “evident” since Obama won’t “combine the word Muslim and terror.” Ah, reasoning– how the f***k does it work?

Predictably, Eliason has angrily denounced efforts by the American government to protect persecuted groups abroad, since persecuting anyone other than white, American, Christian fundies is clearly God’s own order. Gays are, of course, a particular target of Eliason’s unbridled hatred. Eliason thinks the effort to end the ban on gay men from donating blood, for instance, is part of a push to normalize pedophilia and bestiality, since same-sex marriage (which “defiles people”) will inevitably mainstream “the molestation of children” and bestiality, which [somehow just] “happens to be part of the abnormal, homosexual and immoral lifestyle,” together, presumably, with Marxism, Islam and valuing evidence. So, affirming a gay person’s sexual orientation is “like saying to the pyromaniac: go ahead and try it again” (Robin Roberts coming out was accordingly “a tragedy”). He has also compared homosexuality to school shootings in an apparently concerted effort not to be outdone by Peter LaBarbera for degenerate idiocy. Indeed, there is apparently even a connection between LGBT “meltdown of morality” and ISIS beheadings.

Diagnosis: A horrible, furiously malevolent creature from the deepest pits of the abyss. Dangerous – so keep your distance – but fortunately really, really stupid.

A.k.a. The Health Nut

Erin Elizabeth is Joe Mercola’s girlfriend. Elizabeth runs healthnutnews, one of the currently more popular sites devoted to quackery and medical pseudoscience on the Internet, and is pushing pretty much the same line as Mercola with natural, untested “cures” for all sorts of ailments, backed up by pseudoscience, anecdotes, and occasional forays into technobabble. The website also pushes the usual science denialist stuff, including anti-GMO conspiracies.

Elizabeth is, however, particularly notable for pushing (though she doesn’t like being described that way) the conspiracy that Big Pharma (and possibly the government) was killing of alternative medicine doctors in 2015. The most prominent victims were Nicholas Gonzalez and autism quack Jeff Bradstreet, who, according to the police, committed suicide the day after the FDA raided his clinic but who, according to the conspiracy theorists, was probably assassinated. According to Elizabeth, JAQing off, at least five other quacks had died around the same time (under what she, as a conspiracy theorist, deemed to be suspicious circumstances), including chiropractor Baron Holt who Elizabeth admits “had been struggling with recent health issues” but “none were thought to be life threatening by loved ones” (my emphasis), and five more had gone missing. And the evidence for a conspiracy is as direct and non-convoluted as these things go; for instance: “Interestingly, Dr. Holt (33), lived in North Carolina; which is the state where Dr. Bradstreet’s body (the first doctor to be found) was discovered two days prior. Dr. Holt was visiting Jacksonville, Florida, though, when he died there. Dr. Bradstreet (see story #1) was living in Georgia, at the time of his death; and before that, he lived in the neighboring state of Florida.” You can’t argue with that. Naturally Elizabeth was “terrified” for Joe Mercola’s safety, since there is hardly any bigger quack in the US. Of course, given the number of chiropractors (60,000) and altmed practitioners (no clear number, but surely higher than that) in the US, pure chance will give you a couple of even violent deaths per year, and you can imagine what happens when Elizabeth, given her level critical thinking skills and the clustering illusion, starts keeping tabs.

The efforts of the Big Pharma hit squad culminated in a situation where participants at a German homeopath conference managed to amphetamine poison themselves – of course there is the distinct possibility that the participants took the drug, referred to as “Aqua Rust” or “2C-E“, willingly since it is a psychedelic drug that apparently produces LSD-type reactions; no one from the conference was willing to talk (for good reason, as the police cited all the seminar participants for violation of anesthesia laws and using illegal drugs may cost you your license to practice in Germany). Elizabeth concluded, naturally, that they must have been poisoned. Her version of the story was duly picked up by NaturalNews, who also added expert commentary from David Avocado Wolfe.

Diagnosis: A critical thinking trainwreck and pseudoscience promoter. Elizabeth is too smart to yell “conspiracy” outright, and will thus sometimes appear reasonable when compared to other people playing in her league (such Mike Adams or Alex Jones), but appearing reasonable in comparison with those doesn’t mean that you are reasonable, and Elizabeth isn’t reasonable.

Several states currently license naturopaths, and as a result Alaska, for instance, currently enjoys a bale of state-licensed crazies, frauds and idiots with no qualifications or understanding of medicine but who nonetheless call themselves doctors and are free to prey on sick people. Michael Ellenburg, for instance, peddles the whole range, from traditional Chinese medicine to ozone therapy to homeopathy. I’m not sure he stands out from any of the others, but if he’s a typical specimen – and we have all reason to think he is – the situation in Alaska is pretty depressing. Here is Ellenburg on one of his quack remedies, Bryomixol:

“Bryomixol is an herbal therapy that targets the patient’s immune system function. In patients who have cancer they need to get their immune system to start working properly. Anyone who has cancer does not have a proper functioning immune system, otherwise they would not have cancer. Chemotherapy and Radiation are directed against the tumor(s), they do nothing to support the immune system. Bryomixol can be used in cancer to treat the patient’s immune system; it is not a targeted cancer treatment. Bryomixol specifically effects Natural Killer cell function. NK cells are involved in seeking out and destroying tumor cells, bacteria, and viruses.”

You don’t need to know much about cancer to see some errors in Ellenburg’s description, but his patients probably don’t. How this nonsense doesn’t count as fraud beats me. (And no, bryomixol has absolutely no beneficial effects on anything whatsoever.)

Diagnosis: Woo.

A.k.a. The people's chemist

Shane Ellison is “the people’s chemist” – a “rogue chemist turned consumer health advocate” – and he can cure you with alchemy. If you ever visit his website (you don’t have to; we’ve been there for you), you’ll be met with the rather interesting combination of words: “Combining chemistry and nature is an experiment. But when it yields measurable results, each day is another chance to live young without risky medications.” By “measurable results” he means … well, he’s got testimonies and anecdotes. It’s always testimonials, isn’t it? Ellison was a rogue chemist, remember, not a scientist. At least his target audience isn’t.

The narrative is, of course, that Ellison, who’s got an MA in chemistry, left the corrupt pharmaceutical industry behind (where he had for a while “ignored my suspicion that an insidious and deliberate push to get each and every American hooked on drugs, while at the same time bankrupting them, existed between Big Pharma and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA)”) – from his Big Pharma experience he also learned that “[w]e design drugs based on symptoms, we don’t cure” – and his current goal is to get people off of their medications and rather buy various supplements: “prescription drugs and health don’t mix,” says Ellison. He sells quite a selection on his website, and the parameters by which these are “natural”, and prescription drugs aren’t, are a bit unclear (some of them are gluten free, apparently).

The Big Pharma conspiracy is, of course, a conspiracy to get you to use as many drugs and vaccines as possible to maximize profits (yes, he’s been pushing the “swine flu vaccine was a scam” conspiracy). Instead, you should buy Ellison’s supplements, which, according to the testimonials, have helped people achieve miraculous weight loss (they’re horribly expensive, which could of course be an explanation), and cured diabetes and aching joints. He also pushes his books, which include at least Over-the-counter natural cures and The 5 Deadliest Pills Checklist. Some of the claims in the former are discussed here. Suffice to say, it’s the usual tripe, with claims like “Big Pharma didn't invent aspirin. Mother Nature did” (no, aspirin does not exist in nature), but Ellison recommends that you use white willow bark instead, which according to him “doesn’t contain ASA (acetyl-salicylic acid) or aspirin. Therefore, it won't accidentally kill you.” Well, white willow bark contains salicin, which is converted to salicylic acid when ingested and which can indeed kill you. But you know, Ellison is on a roll and not so concerned with such inconvenient details. The reason “the industry” pushes aspirin rather than white willow bark is ~~because white willow bark is barely effective and has at least as bad possible side effects as the drugs it is supposed to replace~~ because “[t]he industry couldn't market the natural ingredient as their own. You can’t patent Mother Nature.” Ellison’s idea is that the patented drugs are “simply ‘copy-cats’ of Mother Nature. Unfortunately, because they are slightly altered, they carry large amounts of risk due to fast absorption into the bloodstream. These copycats are also very toxic because the body does not recognize them as being natural.” In reality, of course, the modifications are made to improve the effects and remove unnecessary dangerous side effects from the drug’s natural contexts (like in the case of aspirin and white willow bark). The last sentence of that quote, however, is a nice illustration of how crazy and dangerously wrong Ellison’s claims actually are: No, your body does not have a detector that distinguishes “naturally produced” chemicals from other chemicals. It’s rather interesting that so many people who, like Ellison, make a living off of pushing “natural” supplements sold at exorbitant prices, are trying – like Ellison – to argue that Big Pharma is suppressing natural cures because they can make no money off of them.

He does lament that he cannot use the word “cure” for his products, since “the word ‘cure’ is the sole property of the drug companies.” Of course, what he is talking about is the requirement that claims to “cure” anything must be backed up by evidence, which he doesn’t have. Anecdotes and conspiracy rants aren’t evidence.

For some reason Ellison has managed to receive some media attention, probably because his website is somewhat slicker than the webpages of those who are pushing similar conspiracies over at whale.to, for instance (in fact, Ellison does indeed have a page there as well, where he talks about his book Health Myths Exposed; the myths include the aforementioned Big Pharma conspiracies, as well as the “myth” that high cholesterol is a major risk factor for heart disease and the "myth" that “ephedra causes heart attacks, strokes and seizures”). Don’t take medical advice from this guy, please.

Diagnosis: Doing science – conducting rigorous trials and getting the results published – is hard. Doing denialism and conspiracy ranting on the Internet (or in book form) is easy. Unfortunately many consumers are apparently not entirely clear about the difference.

Ken Ham is to many the ultimate symbol of religiously driven ignorance, anti-science fundamentalist crazy, but there are those who are crazier than Ken Ham – we’ve encountered a couple – although they fortunately don’t have Ham’s organization or influence. In fact, there are those who are so much crazier than Ken Ham that they attack Answers in Genesis from the right. Pastor Don Elmore of Union Kentucky, for instance, although he praises AiG’s tireless battles against reason and science, thinks they’re part of a humanistic conspiracy:

I am aware of the forces supporting “Answers in Genesis”, these being the same powers that are supporting similar multi-cultural anti-Christian organizations such as Alpha, Promise Keepers, The Full Gospel Businessmen’s Association, Billy Graham ministries, producers of many modern Bible versions, and a multitude of other ministries. These forces are the anti-Christian powers seeking One World Government under man, not God. The essence of my criticism is to show that “Answers in Genesis” supports the humanistic and unbiblical “Brotherhood of Man” doctrine (which also is a Hindu/Roman Catholic/Masonic/Jewish/Judeo-Christian and World-Church belief).

Of course, what really irks Elmore is miscegenation (oh, yeah):

For instance, less than 60 years ago, mixed racial unions were illegal in most of the states in the United States and other White nations. But now, they are tolerated as being supposedly within God’s plan. Under the influence and promotion of the Jewish-Masonic-Papal-Communist/Socialist controlled governments and media, Western Christianity has succumbed to the approval of race mixing, and we will be looking at what is behind this. The Bible abounds with evidence of God’s clear will that the races be separate in every way. “Answers in Genesis” mould all its answers around Judeo-Christian doctrines and traditions, and claims a different basis and definition of “race” from that which the Bible gives. Furthermore, there is evidence of Jewish Talmudic sources, or of what the Apostle Paul calls “Jewish fables”.

Whee. You can read the whole screed here, but you will never get those sanity points back. It should come as little surprise that Elmore is an associate of Mark Downey.

Diagnosis: Absolutely deranged. Possibly the craziest loon we have yet covered in our Encyclopedia.

Well, Dan Ely is, in fact, a Professor of Biology at the University of Akron, and has, indeed, published some research. He “has no formal training in evolutionary biology outside what he may have received in an introductory biology course”, of course (though he certainly doesn’t point that out voluntarily), and received his formal training in a medical school environment. But yes, he’s got a title suggesting expertise in biology. He’s also a creationist. He belongs, in other words, to a group of rare specimens the anti-science brigade values very highly and knows to use that for what it’s worth.

Thus, Ely ended up testifying during the Kansas evolution hearings, for instance, where he displayed a rather fundamental lack of understanding of evolution, as well as some troubles with honesty (and tried to avoid answering questions about the age of the Earth). His colleagues at Akron, some of whom do, indeed, have a background in evolution, even published a letter decrying Ely’s “profound misconceptions” and misrepresentations in that context (emphasizing that “Dr. Ely is a physiologist whose religious beliefs have caused him to seek out non-existent ‘discrepancies’ in evolution to prove his preconceived notion that common ancestry must be false”) and decrying his portrayal of his interactions with the members of the department at Akron who actually do evolutionary research: Ely claimed that:

“I go to our molecular biologists that are following molecular phylogenies and I say, is there any discrepancy here? This is your area, it's not my area specifically, are there discrepancies? Are there controversies? Absolutely. And so they would go on to explain to me either from plants or from animals the different discrepancies that there are […] And as I went to further experts in our department that were geneticists and individuals in molecular phylogeny like this, I said, is there something that we're missing in evolutionary theory? I don't belong to any special groups. I've come to these conclusions on my own. And they said absolutely, absolutely there’s discrepancies. There's discussions all the time.”

Of course, the “discrepancies” are debates over details in the history of species, but Ely doesn’t present them as such. It’s a pretty familiar gambit among anti-science campaigners.

Diagnosis: Honesty is not the first quality that springs to mind when describing the situation, and it is easy to wonder to what extent Ely is a very virtuous person. It's not the first time we've seen religious fundamentalism in tension with the virtues the religion officially promotes.

Skimming through the entries in our Encyclopedia, at least one group of truly American loons seems to be strikingly underrepresented: the bigfooters. Oh, yes, we’ve covered Mark Russell Bell, who is pushing an updated version of the Bible that also includes information on bigfoot and UFOs, and the good Arthur David Horn had some ventures into that territory before he discovered Zechariah Sitchin and David Icke.But when it comes to real, serious bigfoot researchers, we haven’t got much.

Give a warm welcome, therefore, to Rick Emmer. Emmer is the author of Bigfoot: Fact or Fiction, and apparently hasn’t quite mastered the distinction suggested in his title. As with a lot of Bigfoot hunters, Emmer claims that bigfoot was first discovered by Leif Eiriksson during his discovery of Newfoundland – there is no textual evidence for such claims, of course, but that doesn’t prevent Emmer from quoting … something (almost certainly Peter Byrne, another bigfoot crackpot and the author of The Search for Big Foot: Monster, Myth or Man? since Emmer, like Byrne, claims that Eiriksson called the native population “skellrings”, when they would have used “skrælings” or “skrellings”, a typo that would have been obvious if Emmer had gone to a primary source or translation done by a real historian instead of crackpot rantings by a fellow lunatic). The real sagas contain no trace of any encounter that can be interpreted as even remotely “bigfooty”, but why go to the primary sources when mining your own deranged imagination is so much more fun? The rest of the scholarship of the book is of comparable quality.

As a matter of fact, Emmer might not quite fit the bill as a bigfoot fanatic. It turns out that he has actually written a whole series of cryptozoology books with the title “X: Fact or Fiction”, where “X” is “kraken”, “megalodon”, “giant anaconda” and – but of course – “the Loch Ness monster” If he had applied a minimum of rigorous scholarship and intellectual honesty, these would all have been very short books consisting mostly of the word “no” (without bothering to double check I assume that the megalodon in question is supposed to be a currently existingmegalodon, an idea famous from several Discovery Channel docufrauds).

Diagnosis: Oh, well. We suspect that Emmer isn’t much of a loon when push comes to show. But his fans clearly are, and if you weigh Emmer’s contributions to humanity he’ll be found sorely wanting.

There are (at least) three strategies available to the science denialist. First, you can try to pretend that science supports your position by cherry-picking the scientific literature or quote-mining; second, you can try to argue that the science “isn’t settled yet”, usually by finding a crazy loner with questionably relevant credentials who disagree with the overwhelming consensus; or – the most common one – you can fall back on conspiracies: Scientists know or suspect the truth, but are either too afraid of their reputations to investigate radical alternatives (since nothing will bar you from fame and recognition or a Nobel prize more effectively than discovering something new) or simply paid to hide it from the general public.

William Engdahl is not afraid to appeal to conspiracies when science doesn’t yield the results he wants, and has made a bit of a career out of it as a freelance journalist and an “independent” historian, researcher and author of books like Myths, Lies and Oil Wars and Full Spectrum Dominance: Totalitarian Democracy in the New World Order. Engdahl is a long-time associate of the LaRouche movement and has, in fact, written many articles for their publications.

Many of his writings concern oil and international politics and economics relating to oil. To assess the value of his output, one should probably notice that Engdahl is a “peak oil denialist”. In fact, Engdahl is a proponent of abiotic oil, the idea that petroleum is not biological in origin and hence that peak oil is a politically motivated conspiracy to … well, you know, some vague gestures about controlling people. Conveniently enough, Engdahl is also a global warming denialist; according to Engdahl, global warming, like peak oil, is merely a “scare” and a “thinly veiled attempt to misuse climate to argue for a new Malthusian reduction of living standards for the majority of the world while a tiny elite gains more power.” GMOs, on the other hand, are dangerous, and the fact that science is in pretty much agreement to the contrary can easily be explained away by appeals to corporation-driven conspiracies (he doesn’t hesitate to cite the few studies that point in a direction he has already determined that studies ought to point in – we’re talking experienced denialism here). He’s even written a book on the topic, Seeds of Destruction. The Hidden Agenda of Genetic Manipulation, which does precisely what you think it does: Start with the conclusion Engdahl wants to defend in the face of scientific consensus; cherrypick and selectively quote studies that can conceivably be used to serve his agenda, and dismiss the rest by appeals to conspiracy theories, where the evidence for a conspiracy consist precisely of the fact that the vast majority of scientists disagree with Engdahl (who, again, has no relevant expertise on the issues in question).

In a 2011 interview with Russia Today Engdahl stated that the 2011 Egyptian Revolution was orchestrated by the Pentagon to facilitate Barack Obama’s Middle East foreign policy: “The ultimate goal of the US is to take the resources of Africa and Middle East under military control to block economic growth in China and Russia, thus taking the whole of Eurasia under control.” And the Arab Spring was a plan “(...) first announced by George W. Bush at a G8 meeting in 2003 and it was called ‘The Greater Middle East Project’.” Don’t let details, evidence and reason get in the way of a good conspiracy theory, shall we?

Diagnosis: The kind of guy Jerome Corsi and Tom Bethell turn to for information. A total joke, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t possess some influence over the weak of mind or the seriously misinformed.

Christina England is one of the looniest conspiracy theorists in the anti-vaccine movement (a hero at whale.to), but also British – just thought we should mention her anyways just in case anyone ever runs into her.

Terry England is not related to Christina (as far as we know), and is admittedly not anywhere as dangerously insane. Change the contrast class to normally bright people, however, and Terry England is still quite staggeringly lunatic. England is a state representative in Georgia, and most famous on a national level for defending a bill that would outlaw all abortions after 20 weeks … of fetuses already dead or so congenitally deformed that it had no hope of living after birth. Well, we can have a debate about whether abortion is the taking of a life or deprivation of a future or whatever, but what could possibly have been the rationale behind England’s bill? Going through labor and giving birth to a corpse is a life experience for the woman, according to England. Right. England has worked on a farm, and cows and pigs don’t get the benefit of a medical procedure to remove dead calves and piglets; they just have to buck up and deliver it. So it follows that human breeder sows have to do the same, doesn’t it? Also, some guy he met was willing to give up all the chickens he used for chicken fights (!) if only abortions were banned, and England found that really moving.

And if you’re thinking that “well, one foolish comment should not suffice to qualify as a loon,” rest assured. England is also a hardcore climate change denialist. “[W]hen I see sound science that points to climate change and global warming as something that man is causing and that is not something happening naturally, then I will consider [enacting environmental regulations aimed at reducing the effects of climate change].” Of course, given England’s unwillingness to look and ability to evaluate evidence, you can rest assured that this will never happen.

Diagnosis: Oh, relatively stock example of a village idiot elected state legislator, and Georgia has an impressive clown car’s worth of them

Though not as famous as Cindy Jacobs, Lou Engle or C. Peter Wagner, Johnny Enlow is one of the founders of Seven Mountains Domionism, as well as a self-declared “prophet”. Among his prophecies is his 2014 prophecythat God is taking over Hollywood once and for all. The prophecy actually quotes God directly:

“For the Lord says, ‘I am already invading Hollywood far beyond what you can imagine. I am already loosening up the ground and preparing to uproot systems and structures that you think are just the rules of the game that you must play. I am even already beginning to put in My new structures […] I am the ultimate game changer in Hollywood, and I have come to change the game. And I truly am looking for those who call themselves after My name, who have not sold out to the Hollywood way of doing things. For I am going to raise up an army of My Josephs in Hollywood, and they will be as Joseph in Old Testament times who prospered in everything He did – because the Lord was with him. The enemy cannot throw up enough roadblocks to counter this factor. If I am with you, Red Seas part. If I am with you, enemy armies are covered by that sea. If I am with you, the Jordan River also parts.’”

And so on, and so forth. Isn’t it fascinating how God always says to his “prophets” precisely what they want him to say? More recently he wrote a column declaring that the fact that American Pharoah recently became the first horse to win the Triple Crown in 37 years is a prophetic sign that “we’re going into the Promised Land of the tops of the 7 mountains of society.”

Enlow is the author of “The Seven Mountain Prophecy”, which asserts that goal of Christians ought to be to establish a “virtual theocracy”, in which government leaders will also be religious leaders so that they can present “the nations of the world to the Lord as His possession” and bring about the return of Christ (government and media should “function on Earth as they do in Heaven,” which is a really strange claim if you think about it). Thus far, the plan has only succeeded in some Middle Eastern countries, but Enlow and his gang are optimistic since they believe they have God on their side. The book also explains for instance how God sent Hurricane Katrina to destroy New Orleans because it was his way of showing gays how much he loves them.

Enlow has, however, said that the best way for Christians to accomplish dominionism is through stealth; according to Os Hillman: “We need to learn to be ‘as wise as serpents and harmless as doves’ and realize that stealth authority and influence are much preferred over overt authority and influence. A low profile diffuses resistance from the opposition.” And in this video featuring Hillman, Enlow, and Lance Wallnau discussing dominionism, they suggest that using language about “taking over” is fine to use when “preaching to the choir” but such language shouldn’t be used in situations where the media or secular audiences are present.

Diagnosis: These people are dangerous, and evil to the core. They are really, truly hoping to model the US on Taliban principles.

There has been a number of birther lawsuits – all of them deranged – but Gordon Epperly of Alaska may have the distinction of filing the (two) craziest of them all (the ones filed in Alabama by Albert Hendershot and Harold Sorenson aren’t too far away, though; nor is the one by Christopher Earl Strunk, though we’ll return to that one at a later point). Before the 2012 election, Epperly filed an objection to Obama’s placement on the ballot, complaining that “[a]s Barack Hussein Obama II is of the ‘mulatto’ race, his status of citizenship is founded upon the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. Before the [purported] ratification of the Fourteenth Amendment, the race of ‘Negro’ or ‘mulatto’ had no standing to be citizens of the United States under the United States Constitution.” Yes, the complaint assumes that Dred Scott is still the governing principle, no less, and that might not even be the most insane thing about it. The challenge was rejected, so he filed another one claiming that Obama is not a natural born citizen and that, by taking office, he has committed treason – and that Nancy Pelosi has no right to be hold public office because she’s a woman: “There are no provisions in the Constitution of the United States that grants Women ‘Political Rights’ of Suffrage to hold any Political Office of the United States Government,” said the lawsuit. It probably comes as little surprise that Epperly represented himself.

Diagnosis: Epperly serves as a useful reminder that, yes, people like this still exist. And that’s probably the best anyone can say of Gordon Epperly.

With credentials like being the founder and President of the Center for Industrial Progress, a California for profit think tank, and former fellow of the Ayn Rand Institute, you may sort of suspect what’s coming. Alex Espstein is an “energy theorist” and “industrial policy expert” (no, he’s got no credentials to support either), as well as the author of The Moral Case for Fossil Fuels, which champions the use of fossil fuels like coal, oil and natural gas. That case is made easier by his climate change denialism, the case for which is primarily made on the grounds that it fits his political agenda more effortlessly than the truth. The book was heartily praised by the Heartland Institute (e.g. Jay Lehr) and has won him a place among the most prominent global warming denialists at present, and it is, once again, telling that he has no relevant expertise in any field related to climate science.

Epstein has argued that it is silly to ask if humans are behind climate change, because that assumes that “if man did change climate, it would be a bad thing.” As many climage change deniers, Epstein “concedes” that greenhouse gases might warm the planet “a little bit,” but tries to remind us that increased heat is “generally nice;” the “most important effect of fossil fuels” is to ensure that people like him can move to “the best climate we can” – in his case Southern California.

People who are concerned about climate change, on the other hand, are against development and ignore the benefits of industrial advances (yes, that staggering strawman again); indeed, if you are worried about man-made climate change, you are – according to Epstein – displaying “a prejudice against the man-made” or, as he likes to put it, “human racism.”

Diagnosis: Stock pseudoscientist. And like religious fanatics, the only evidence Epstein will ever consider is that which he can shoehorn into service for his ideology. He is pretty influential, however.

Norma Erickson is an anti-vaccine activist and the very founder SANE Vax, an anti-science organization we’ve had some opportunities to talk about before. The group is “dedicated to spreading misinformation about the HPV vaccine”, and their website employs most of the standard antivaccine PRATTS, though in the case of SANE Vax these are directed primarily at the HPV vaccine.Their goal is to promote only Safe, Affordable, Necessary & Effective vaccines, but despite requests they have not provided any examples of vaccines they think fulfill those criteria. The organization is, in other words, anti-vaccine through and through.

Erickson has been relatively vocal about perceived dangers of the HPV vaccine, even sending a letter to the FDA complaining that there is DNA in the vaccine: “SANE Vax Inc. contracted with an independent lab to test for contamination and found HPV recombinant DNA (rDNA) in 13 vaccine vials.” Curiously (or “curiously”), there is not a single scientific paper or report describing the methodology used and the specific tests used, apparently because of “the proprietary processes and information utilized by our laboratory to test the samples.” So, we’re talking about a “novel” test here, and FDA were not given the actual results or methodology behind the findings; in addition, even if their analyses were correct they would be extremely unlikely to be problematic (the quantities of HPV DNA involved were in any case many orders of magnitude smaller than they would need to be to have the faintest chance of getting into cells to make trouble). Nevertheless, SANE Vax demanded that the FDA take action, as well as “transparency” from FDA and Merck (not themselves – in their own case transparency was unfortunately made impossible by proprietary issues). Mostly, however, they tried to scare the public. The affair is discussed here. SANE Vax later tried to bolster their pseudoscience with some nonsense from one Dr. Hanan Polansky; that nonsense is discussed in some detail here.

Together with Catherine J Frompovich, who bills herself as a “Consumer Health Researcher & Author,” Erickson also wrote the article “A Parent’s Guide: What to do if your child dies after vaccination”. The main premise for the article is the fact that vaccine-related deaths are incredibly rare, which to Erickson and Frompovich means that there must be a conspiracy. By deliberately misunderstanding correlation and causation and misusing the VAERS database (no less), they managed to imagine their way to implying that the “true” number of vaccine-related deaths is somewhere between 2,170 and 21,700 a year; that is, it could be as much as 40% of all childhood deaths before age 19. Combined with their idea that the problem is increasing given the alleged skyrocketing number of vaccines given the last few decades, their figures are in direct contradiction with the steady decrease in child mortality rates over the last decades, but Erickson & Frompovich aren’t in the business of letting reality or truth interfere with their delusions. The punchline, though, is that “[p]arents should realize their gut instincts most often are correct, especially about their child whom they have been taking care of since birth.” Yup, mommy instincts trumps reality, truth, reason and painstaking records, at least “most often”. Parents should also be aware that if they experience the horrible event of a child dying, “the coroner is appointed by government authorities,” and is usually part of the conspiracy to keep vaccines free of blame. And coroners systematically fail to test for instance for the toxins found in vaccines.

Diagnosis: Crazy conspiracy theorists, and if you are normally reasonable and ever came across their webpage, that would be obvious. However, they somehow manage to get not only less reasonable people but also, on occasions, various journalists to take them seriously, and given their agenda they must accordingly be considered dangerous.

Tricia Erickson is a former Mormon who achieved a little bit of notoriety during the 2012 presidential elections for her not-entirely-well-hinged criticisms of presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Erickson, who is President of Crisis Management, Inc. and Angel Pictures & Publicty [wait …. What?], basically claimed that if Romney were elected it would lead to the Mormon church taking over America. The thing, of course, is – according to Erickson – that as president Romney would still be controlled by the priesthood of the Mormon Church, just like any Catholic president would be under the mind control of the pope and every president is controlled by the Illuminati. The “goal of the Mormon Church, through the Mormon Kingdom of God,” according to Erickson, “is to bring the United States government, this is true, under the rule of the priesthood, the Mormon priesthood.” Shockingly, and completely unlike other religions, “Mormons believe that they are the only true church,” so therefore their “ultimate goal is better serve their agenda by being able to rule and govern before the millennium actually takes place and the Mormon Church and its corporate empire, assets and resources will be the chief element in the millennial overthrow of the United States government.” And so on, and so forth.

We “cannot afford a Mormon experiment,” said Erickson: “[I]f this man does not have the judgment to be able to discern fact from fiction on the most basic things like the horrifically false religion that he’s in […], then how do we trust the judgment of this man to put him at the head of our country with everything that’s going on?”

On other issues, Erickson tends to take the position you’d expect her to take. She doesn’t fancy homosexuals, and in response to the Supreme Court decision (you know which) penned an article “Supreme Court Defies Reason, Constitution and God by Declaring Homosexuality to be Marriage,” which doesn’t exactly suggest that kind of insight or intelligence that invites us to read beyond the headline. She also blamed the Charleston shootings on the “racially divisive” Obama, cause that’s totally reasonable. For the 2016 election she threw her support in for Trump since, as she described it in a WND (where else) column, he is a modern-day Nehemiah, anointed by God to protect America from the Muslims.

Diagnosis: You can figure this one out yourself, can’t you?

Willis Eschenbach is a climate change denialist kook blogging at Watts Up With That (WUWT), and cited by Steve McIntyre’s Climate Audit. Eschenbach has a BA in psychology and a California Massage Certificate from Aames School of Massage, and he has experience as a construction manager. Now, climate change denialism comes in various versions; Eschenbach’s view is apparently that “the preponderance of evidence shows that humans are the main cause of the increase in atmospheric CO₂… I don’t think that the change in CO₂will make any meaningful difference to the temperature” (more here). A good discussion of his criticism of the BEST project can be found here. As you may remember, the Berkeley Earth Surface Temperature (BEST) project was a project funded by private groups (including the Koch brothers) to provide an independent evaluation of the data and even included known climate change skeptics on the team – turns out that their findings were in line with mainstream research, which caused some, uh, consternation among the denialists. And here is a discussion of Eschenbach’s claims to the effect that Greenland has only lost a fraction of its total ice mass and that it’s nothing to worry about. Here is a discussion of his own (unpublished except for on denialist blogs) hypothesis about global warming; needless to say, it’s not going to be included in the IPCC reports, and that’s not beause there’s a conspiracy (other than a rather official one of keeping pseudoscientific rubbish by delusional kooks out, if that counts).

Due to his credentials and expertise Eschenbach is a regular speaker at the Heartland Institute’s International Conferences on Climate Change.

How much of a crank is he? Unsurprisingly, Eschenbach is not above lying. And then there is this (do check that one out). And here is a discussion of his letter to the Editor-in-Chief of Science Magazine lamenting the fact that they let science and evidence guide their coverage of climate change: “The problem is that you are extremely well educated, strong, strikingly good looking, and a wickedly-smart woman by all accounts … and while those are all good things, that’s a scary combination. One downside of that particular melange is that as a result, it’s very possible that people, particularly men, haven’t told you the unvarnished truth in years.” Wheee.

Diagnosis: That this guy has become something of a celebrity in the denialist movement should tell you quite a bit about the movement. (And him.)

#1571: Robert Eckel

#1572: Gingi Edmonds

#1573: Ted Edwards

#1574: Kelley Eidem

#1575: Lee Eimers

#1576: Vic Eliason

#1577: Erin Elizabeth

#1578: Michael Ellenburg

#1579: Shane Ellison

#1580: Don Elmore

#1581: Dan Ely

#1582: Rick Emmer(?)

#1583: William Engdahl

#1584: Terry England

#1585: Johnny Enlow

#1586: Gordon Epperly

#1587: Alex Epstein

#1588: Norma Erickson

#1589: Tricia Erickson

#1590: Willis Eschenbach