Encyclopedia of American Loons

Jeff Mirus is one of the leading writers for Catholic Culture, and a staunch fundamentalist bigot. With respect to gay rights he takes the mainstream stance – it seems to be a travesty and a violation of his rights that religious fundamentalists aren’t allowed to throw gay people in jail, and at the same time he complains that he is the victim and that he is at risk of being thrown not only in jail, but in a “gulag” – hysterical idiots such as Mirus won’t forego any opportunity to allude to totalitarianism, but the hypocrisy is appalling. As he puts it: “[G]ay marriage is the perfect totalitarian wedge, not least in a country like the United States, which has been capable of believing itself uniquely dedicated to liberty even in the midst of slavery and abortion,” and that to gay rights groups “it seems only right and just that their denunciation of the gay lifestyle and their opposition to gay marriage should be criminalized. In fact, it should be criminalized in the name of liberty. That is why gay marriage is the lie that will create the next Gulag.” Projection much?

Mirus is also sympathetic to Intelligent Design, viewing the creation–evolution discussion as a matter of differing worldviews, where evolution “derives from a militantly atheistic worldview,” and he praises instead “some very interesting scientific work being done by creationists,” such as “Walter Brown’s hydroplate theory of geology.” No, Mirus has no background in geology, and no understanding of science: “For a half-century now, creationists have been gathering scientific evidence for their hypotheses, and it is difficult to see any scientific reason why their theories should be banned from the classroom.” Apparently the fact that they have been gathering evidence for 50 years (homeopaths have been “gathering evidence” for three times as long) is sufficient to warrant teaching creationism in public schools.

Diagnosis: Nothing unpredictable here. A typical wingnut loon gives his predictable two cents about everything, and if you disagree it’s all about having different worldviews, and his is apparently just one where evidence and reason do not play privileged roles. Also, you should be thrown in jail, under the ungrounded assumption that youwant him thrown in jail.

Fish in a barrel. David Miscavige is the leader of the Church of Scientology, succeeding L. Ron Hubbard upon Hubbard’s death in 1986. Miscavige has a reputation for being an asshole, and has had numerous allegations made against him in court documents and media reports regarding his treatment of staff, including physical assault, coerced abortions, human trafficking and child labor (some recent allegations here). Not that any of those factors, correct or not, would make any difference to whether he counts as a loon – the Narconon alone would suffice aplenty. Miscavige had in fact already assumed much of the control before Hubbard’s demise, instigating a thorough reorganization of the church, starting a large-scale publication program of new versions of Scientology’s books and courses, relaunching The Sea Org, scoring an epic win in 1993 when they reached a settlement with the IRS over the taxes Scientology had been withholding ever since their tax exempt status was revoked in 1967, and beginning its legendary war on all criticism on the Internet (with the usual Streisand effects hot on the heals) and famous defeats).

Miscavige has also compared Tom Cruise to Jesus Christ, and believes that Cruise will spread the gospel of L. Ron Hubbard all over the world, so even a commitment to dianetics is strictly superfluous to merit inclusion in this Encyclopedia. The latest antics of his church include the building of a “space cathedral” in New Mexico, not far from Roswell, apparently to help future devotees find L. Ron Hubbard’s original works after a nuclear war.

For a good biographical documentary on Miscavige, this one is hard to beat (recommended, as is this).

Diagnosis: It is, as the documentary suggests, a little hard to believe that someone as cunning and clever as Miscavige actually believes the teachings of scientology, but then again, there is always the question of whether scientology is a cult or a religion.

Jason “Molotov” Mitchell is the president of something called Illuminati Pictures, and his specialty is creating videos for the WND featuring himself ranting (segments “For the Record” and “News! News!”), often on topics on which he has scant knowledge and no understanding. (One also suspects that Mitchell is less than fully aware of who the guy from whom he has taken his nickname actually was.) WND and Mitchell seem to agree that Mitchell is very smart, but to the rest of us Mitchell embarrassing ignorance is coupled with the kind of confidence arrogance that is the hallmark of the Dunning-Kruger lowermost quartile. If you were ever in doubt, you can check out his arguments about religion.

… or his views on science. According to Michell “Darwinian evolution is a theory. No one insists that it’s a law, people act like it’s a fact but we all know it’s not a scientific law, it’s a theory. And the problem that I have with it, the biggest contention, is that we cannot apply the scientific method to it, we cannot test the theory. Ray Comfort has a great question that he asks people on this topic and I decided to pose it to Mike. I asked him if he, or anyone else for that matter, has ever witnessed a KIND of animal turn into another KIND, i.e. a cat turn into a monkey … [note that this latest claim blatantly contradicts the claim in the previous sentence, that (Mitchell’s misunderstood caricature of) evolution is untestable, but never mind].” Hence, Darwinism is “a cult masquerading asscience. They’re basing everything on faith … Macroevolution is all about belief, it’s all about faith.” That’s a pretty impressive PRATT density there. Of course, for WND this counts as cutting-edge scientific insight. But that’s the WND.

Mitchell has also argued in favor of the Ugandan law making homosexuality a capital crime, citing the familiar commandment in the book of Leviticus as his reason. The fact that he himself has a tattoo, which according to Leviticus also requires the death penalty, is something he overlooks. With regards to biblically based legal system, Mitchell has indeed pointed out the hypocrisy involved in standard wingnut attacks on sharia laws insofar as many of the draconian rules found in Islamic law are also found in the Bible, which many wingnuts want to use to craft civil law. Of course, as a self-proclaimed “zealot,” who “avoid[s] the pitfalls of American, effeminised Christianity,” Mitchell doesn’t use the observation to make a case for classical liberalism or a secular government. Instead, he argues that the government should impose laws according to the Bible, including apparently executions for breaking the Sabbath, blasphemy, homosexuality, adultery, sex before marriage (for women), and so on. According to Mitchell, however, Old Testament law is preferable to Islamic law because it does not require “amputating hands,” which is false (Deuteronomy 25:11-12). As for abortion, Mitchell is a proponent of the “black genocide” conspiracy.

Mitchell’s views of politics seem, accordingly, to be relatively simple. According to Mitchell Obama is trying to create “Obamaland” and a “culture of effete snobs” by effacing religion, undermining the Constitution, and concealing records of his birth certificate (oh, yes, Mitchell is a hardcore, hardcore birther). So when instance Christina Aguilera forgot the words to the Star-Spangled Banner during the Super Bowl, for instance, Mitchell knew where to put the blame: President Barack Obama.

There is a fine, if slightly old, portrait of Mitchell here.

Diagnosis: How close your views match those of Molotov Mitchell is a fine way of measuring your own lunacy, at least. That’s probably the most positive anyone can say about Molotov Mitchell, and it is not particularly positive.

Albert Mohler is a theologian, deranged madman, and president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. He clearly tries to present himself as compassionate and caring, but his odious personality, bigotry, and raging hatred fueled by religious fanaticism usually gets the better of him pretty quickly. On his website you can read his almost daily round-up of of issues of concern for good conservative Christians, under the heading “The Briefing”, and there is an interesting biographical sketch here.

Though rabidly anti-gay Mohler has, in fact, admitted defeat on the issue of gay marriage. Of course, to Mohler that defeat is proof positive that rightwing Christians are at present the victims of a new McCarthyism, since “persecution” to Mohler means “whenever Al Mohler doesn’t get his will”. Accordingly, according to Mohler, “same-sex marriage is going to be the greatest challenge to religious liberty in our lifetimes”. He has suggested, however, and as opposed to most of his fellow fundies, that there may well be a biological origin for homosexuality. For Mohler, however, that means that it might be possible to “cure” teh gayz while the fetus is still in utero. His defense of the claim is … pretty breathtaking. More Mohler on homosexuality here.

According to Mohler, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam and Marxism are “demonstration[s] of satanic power.” He is nevertheless confounded by the question “Why is the Muslim World So Resistant to the Gospel?”, especially when given in his own, delectable, delusionally insane and hateful view of the Gospel. “Because they have their own religion,” is not an answer that carries much weight with him. Mohler has earlier shown that he thinks “believer” is synonymous with “evangelical”, which may be a barrier in trying to understand other religions.

God hates yoga as well, apparently (“When Christians practice yoga, they must either deny the reality of what yoga represents or fail to see the contradictions between their Christian commitments and their embrace of yoga”). Here is Marsha West of the AFA defending Mohler’s condemnation of Christians who practice yoga. Apparently God also hates Haiti, His (his) reasons being precisely as lucid as His (his) reasons for hating yoga.

Of course, Mohler is a hardcore Young Earth creationist. He does admit that the Earth looks very old, but hey – the power of God and so on . In short, Mohler concedes the evidence to his opponents and adopts the Omphalos hypothesis, unperturbed by the fact that the Omphalos hypothesis makes God a deceiver, and is in any case a stronger argument for the Matrix providing an accurate description of the Earth than for young Earth creationism. Mohler is a staunch critic of Christian scientists who would make compromises with a literal interpretation of the Bible (e.g. here), though his criticisms are, rather obviously, from a fundamentalist presuppositionalist point of view that really shouldn’t carry any weight to anyone with the dimmest appreciation for reason; indeed, his main argument against evolution is quite simply that it is inconsistent with a literal reading of the Bible; truth, evidence and reality be damned. Being somewhat dimly aware that the argument may just make him irrelevant with those who disagree with him, Mohler has claimed that there is independent evidence for the unsustainability of evolution. As evidence, he cites Chris Mooney arguing that Intelligent Design is not science because supernatural explanations fall outside the scope of science, Ken Miller arguing that Intelligent Design is wrong, and Evan Ratliff on how to combat the attempts of creationists to get Intelligent Design into classrooms. From these three, Mohler concludes that “The house of evolution is falling. Its various theorists are increasingly at war with each other over the basic question of how evolution is supposed to work, and its materialistic and naturalistic foundation is becoming increasingly clear.” Yes. Read it again. The fact that evolutionists disagree is evidence that the theory of evolution is wrong, even when what they disagree over is how to deal with creationists. “The evolutionists tenaciously hold to their theory on the basis of faith and as an axiom of their worldview,” and the disagreement “indicates that proponents of evolution see the Intelligent Design movement as a real threat. They are right.” That’s the argument. “Series of claims” may be a more apt characterization. “Lunatic ravings of a deranged madman,” apter still. He also lies, and does so blatantly. After all, he is the President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. That’s just beneath Jesus himself. Clearly that gives him some license to circumvent the Commandments, kinda like a God’s own James Bond.

As most denialists Mohler nevertheless tries to convince us that he really likes science. “Are science and Christianity friends? The answer to that is an emphatic yes, for any true science will be perfectly compatible with the truths we know by God’s revelation. But this science is not naturalistic, while modern science usually is.” A more honest and accurate answer is “no”.

Diagnosis: A key leader in the fundamentalist community, Mohler is immensely influential. But as opposed to people like, say, Bryan Fischer, Mohler actually has a huge audience among, uh, mainstream fundies, despite the ridiculous stupidity and repugnant, childish barbarism of his views.

A.k.a. Atom tha Immortal

I am not quite sure about the current whereabouts of George Montañez, but he seems to be affiliated with Baylor University’s Department of Computer Science and Dembski’s Evolutionary Informatics Lab (which was always more a website than a lab). He was the co-author (Dembski was the first author) of the paper “Efficient Per Query Information Extraction from a Hamming Oracle”, a peer-reviewed, published paper that according to the authors showed evidence for intelligent design. It did absolutely no such thing.

Montañez is perhaps best known, however, for his alter-ego, the rapper Atom tha Immortal. Now, the misogynism and generally intellectually crude bigotry advocated by several well-known rappers might qualify more than one of the as loons. Yet there is something particularly outstanding about Atom tha Immortal’s enterprise. Atom is writing raps warning about the endtimes and favorably depicting Intelligent Design Creationism, with lines such as “Adam spawned genetic code of early on” and “I follow a path through Euclidean spacetime” – and in particular the sequence:

“Once the population finds Intelligent Design/

Enzymes hold the signs of a Divine Mind/

Darwinian speculation is useless/

To explain emergence/

Of cellular machines below the surface/

Seeing Specified Complexity points to a purpose/

Of a system of integrated parts/

Excluding chance as part/

Of how it could ever start.”

The whole thing is here.

Diagnosis: Perhaps he is just making fun of Intelligent Design. At least it makes much more sense that way.

A.k.a. Dr. Stan

Stan Monteith is an author and a retired orthopedic surgeon. He operates Radio Liberty, which is aimed at “Bringing you the Story behind the Story, the News behind the News,” i.e. the (Christian rightwing) conspiracy theories. Most of the issues he addresses are related to globalization and ramblings about the New World Order, as well as religious concerns about what one needs to do to be saved. He also warns people about what he sees as the dangers of fluoride, and sells you a variety of rather dubious products, woo (he refers to Mike Adams as an authority) and survival products. His monthly newletters have titles such as “Disarming America”, “The Secret Cabal” (eight parts), “The True Story of 9/11” (yup, five parts) “Totalitarianism And World War III”, and “Impending Tyranny” (untarnished conspiracy paranoia; Obama is poised for a coup to put America under UN rule), and they warn you about the decline of the US and the liberals’ war on the family (“every human government has targeted the traditional family for extinction,” according to Monteith), since – predictably – recognizing gay right is a form of totalitarianism. And no, you don’t get a more coherent explanation from Monteith than you get anywhere else – just hyperbole, such as complaints about the“leftist jihad against the Chick fil-A restaurant chain.”

He is also pushing the Georgia Guidestones conspiracy theory. According to Monteith, “[t]he Georgia Guidestones, or the American Stonehenge […] is an important link to the Occult Hierarchy that dominates the world in which we live.” Very deftly observed, Dr. Stan!

Monteith has a long association with the John Birch Society, and has been a member of Pat Robertson’s Christian Coalition and Coalition on Revival. He is, in short, a hardcore dominionist. In 1988 Monteith ran for Congress as a Republican in California’s 16th Congressional District (challenging incumbent Leon Panetta), but failed to make much of an impact.

Diagnosis: Your typical paranoid rightwing religious fanatic. Old, cranky, and in possession of internet access and an arid shortage of critical thinking skills. Monteith’s influence is probably (and hopefully) limited.

Melonie Montgomery runs, maintains, and is the founder of Fenestra Research, a woo-laundering company that officially specializes in clinical trials for alternative medicine practitioners and “nutritional” products”. It’s slogan “The World Leader In Clinical Trials” seems to have been recently modified to “The World Leader in Wellness Studies”, but still offers promoters of altmed “a range of services to our clients including: Clinical Trials, Product Formulation, Product Development, Product testing and more. Contact us to see how we can help YOU.” This includes their “Optimal Wellness Test” (OWT), an “Anti-Aging & Wellness Analyzer” that is claimed “to identify and measure 34 clinical markers in human physiology to a very high degree of accuracy, and conclude the level of ‘wellness’ exhibited by individual clients with specific recommendations for improving areas of concern.” According to themselves OWT “is an analytical, mathematically based test that actually measures wellness in every organ and system of the human body to within 0.02% accuracy. What we have established is a simple, reproducible, mathematical based system to determine if a natural product is resulting in your body mover closer to or farther from Wellness parameters. […] The Optimal Wellness Analysis cannot be compared to traditional lab testing devices because nothing available today tests for wellness, they all test for disease. The typical patient in today’s world is becoming more and more aware of the need to treat the cause rather than the symptom, and that is precisely what the Optimal Wellness Test provides, while eliminating all opinion and guess work!”

Precisely. As they pretty much explicitly says, Fenestra doesn’t actually test altmed products in any meaningful sense of “testing”, but for approximately $30,000 you can get some kind of document in support of your product from a company that has “Research” in its name. They have provided “clinical research” for such products as the quantum stirwand and GlaciaNova. The results of the trials have not been published in peer reviewed journals. Accoring to Lisa Tully the “measurement of resistivity, conductivity, surface tension, specific gravity by Optimal Wellness Labs and the calculation for zeta potential and anabolic-catabolic balance provide us with a look at the ability of the nutrients to flow into the cell and the toxins and waste to flow out of the cell,” but that is probably not correct, since it does not even begin to make sense if the words are interpreted in accordance with what they mean.

Montgomery herself is a “healthcare professional with over 15 years of diversified management and marketing experience,” [no dusty postdocs or research PhDs here] and according to her website she is a Master of Holistic Nutrition from Clayton College of Natural Health, BBA Human Resource Management from Trinity University Nursing Program, and expects PhD In Holistic Nutrition “in early 2006”. Clayton College is the unaccredited diploma mill from which Gillian McKeith also purchased her degree. It seems to have shut down, however, so it is unclear whether Montgomery ever obtained her “PhD” or not.

Diagnosis: I am not going to accuse anyone of fraud, so I must conclude that Montgomery actually believes she is testing and providing support for the various products she is claiming to test. Which is so breathtaking that it beggars all belief.

Raymond Moody is a parapsychologist with a medical degree and Ph.D.s in philosophy and psychology (University of Virginia). He has written several books on the subject of “life after life”, and did for instance compile the list of features many consider typical of near-death experiences (NDE) in his 1975 book Life After Lifeand its many sequels (often coauthored with one Paul Perry). Moody currently conducts not particularly well-designed paranormal studies at his private research institute in rural Alabama. The lab is called The John Dee Memorial Theater of the Mind, after the 16^th century popularizer of crystal gazing in England, and the purpose of Moody’s research is to evoke apparitions of the dead under controlled conditions by achieving altered states of consciousness, which is apparently the gateway to the other world. Even amateurs will probably rather quickly see some potential methodological worries here, and it is, well, not entirely clear that Moody has taken the steps needed to address those worries.

Moody is also an advocate of past life regression, claiming that he was skeptical about reincarnation until undergoing hypnotherapy during which he discovered that he himself had nine past lives. Once again, the distinction between vivid hallucinations and reality seems somewhat lost on Moody.

In 1998, Moody became the Bigelow Chair in Consciousness Studies (after Charles Tart) at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas (now discontinued). He claimed “that UNLV should be applauded for it’s determination to adhere to the strictest standards of scientific rigor regarding claims of rational ‘evidence’ or ‘proof’ of the continuation of consciousness upon bodily death,” but that should be read as “taking life after death for granted and trying to shoehorn data into service as evidence for that presupposition by selective use of evidence, motivated reasoning, and poor study protocols.” Moody has subsequently introduced the rigorous scientists Brian Weiss, “expert in past life regression,” and Dianne Arcangel, “an expert in the field of facilitated apparitions,” to UNLV.

In fairness, Moody has said that he is disturbed by the use of his works by religious fundamentalists and New Age gurus to further their causes. On the other hand, he doestake the testimonials of victims of severely consciousness-manipulating experiences to be evidence of the existence of an afterlife, which seems to be a difference in degree rather than in kind.

Diagnosis: Though not the most incoherently crazy of the lot, Moody has done his fair share of promotion of pseudoscience and campaigning against scientific rigor and evidence. He has been, and continues to be, quite influential.

Marc Morano is a wingnut propagandist and – most famously – a leading global warming denier. In 2006 he was hired by Jim Inhofe as “Director of Communication”, and it was as Inhofe’s director of communications that Morano put together the infamous bogus Inhofe report containing the names of 600+ scientists who “disagreed” with the consensus on climate change (including “eminent” scientists like Chris Allen and Edward Blick) – whether the scientists in fact disagreed with consensus was determined not by the scientists themselves but by whether Morano, who really has no relevant background in any of the sciences, judged their works to be in disagreement with the consensus or not, regardless of whether it was. Needless to say, it is hard to believe that the list was compiled in good faith.

Well, of course it wasn’t, but the thing is that Morano has mastered information wars, something he demonstrated brilliantly already in 2004, when he emerged as one of the main strategist behind the Kerry swiftboat campaign. Indeed, it is hard not to be impressed by Morano’s masterly (and fully remorseless) use of lies, snowing, smearing and inaccuracies (with no concern for internal coherence among his claims) to win the propaganda war (described in some detail here; an excellent example of his strategically ingenious use of fabrications here). It really is deeply scary.

In 2009, Morano left Inhofe and became the proprietor of the website “Climate Depot” (sponsored by the Committee for a Constructive Tomorrow, an Exxon funded think tank accurately portrayed here). The goal of the website is to expose the “lies” of the “warmists” and “scientific McCarthy-ites” whom Morano deems to be in a conspiracy against people like him because he doesn’t fancy the results of their studies (“The IPCC summary for policymakers is used to scare politicians and goad the public into action. The UN is all about politics,” says Morano, but doesn’t go into much detail about what on Earth the UN may be trying to achieve by that conspiracy; someone like Alex Jones is at least more intellectually honest). By “McCarthy”-like techniques he apparently doesn’t mean examples like this or this.

In 2010 Morano received the prestigious “Petr Beckmann award” by Doctors for Disaster Preparedness, which is as good a qualification for loonhood as anything.

Diagnosis: Some may argue that it is wrong to characterize Morano as a loon. After all, Morano appears to know full well that he is lying and distorting the data to achieve his ends, and perhaps he just doesn’t care about the long-term effects of his campaigns. In any case, if we cannot indict Morano, at least we can indict the many people who listen to him, for as it is, Morano is one of the most influential – perhaps the most influential – anti-science and denialist campaigners alive today.

Michael Moriarty is probably most famous as a stage and screen actor (a central role in the Law and Order show), and somewhat famous as a jazz musician, but has also made a mark as a political writer (primarily at “Michael Moriarty Unofficial, Unauthorized, Unsanctioned Home Page” and for the ESR’s (Enter Stage Right) online Journal of Conservativism), describing himself both as a “centrist” and as a realist”. It is doubtful that anyone else would use either description of him.

Most of his writings seems to be focused on his opposition to abortion (as well as stem cell research), calling Roe v. Wade “despotic”, which is not a very apt description regardless of whether one agrees with the decision or not. But of course, it is easy to see where it comes from: Moriarty doesn’t like legalized abortion, and he doesn’t like despotism, so therefore legalized abortion is despotism. It may be worth quoting him at some length on the topic:

“Like the collaborating Vichy government in France under the Nazis, America will surrender to laws and ideologies that contradict the American Constitution and the most simple Human Rights. The Supreme Court took a once individually free nation and corrupted it by the lie of Science that fetuses are, in their first two trimesters, no more than egg yolk. Ultimately, our American Intellectual Supremacists bought the ‘Population Problem’, in the same way Europe fell under the thrall of the so-called ‘Jewish Problem’. Islam, in and of itself ... is an Allah-worshipping, Kamikaze Nation, exactly like pre-World War II Imperial Japan. Its Bible, the Koran, can be read like Hitler's Mein Kampf […] The measures Harry Truman took to end the war with Japan may prove tragically necessary with Islam.”

Yeah, neither do we.

Shortly after leaving Law & Order, Moriarty moved to Canada, declaring himself to be in political exile.

In 2011, he voiced his support for a 2012 Sarah Palin presidency saying that“I don’t see how America can survive without her!!” and claiming that she is better “than a new Reagan. She’s the complete symbol of pro-life. […] To not elect her is to not know America’s greatest enemy and that enemy can be summed up in two words: the Obama Nation,” while lamenting our current “radical experiment with a known Marxist in the Presidency” (and the evidence Obama is a Marxist? Well, Moriarty doesn’t like Obama and he doesn’t like Marxism, therefore … you know how it goes). According to Moriarty, “[u]nder the publicly recognized narcissism and, I firmly believe, the Mao-worshipping megalomania of Barack Hussein Obama [elsewhere described as ‘America's blind fuhrer’], I have no doubt we’re being ruled by The American Robespierre.” Later he expanded on his views, arguing that Palin is making “The New World Order Establishment profoundly nervous.” He then hoped that Palin would later be succeeded by president Allen West.

Moriarty also weighed in on the abuse scandals that have plagued the Catholic Church, and did so with his standard level of lucidness. Apparently the Catholic Church is the victim of a Marxist new world order in league with Osama Bin Laden, and that “[u]nfortunately, it is now not only Catholics versus Communists. It is the Catholic Church versus the entire Progressive New World Order. Versus the European Union’s Socialism. Versus Russia’s neo-Soviet allegiance with Red China. It is basically the Catholic Church versus the World.”

Diagnosis: For a while Moriarty palled around with the Breitbarters, but they seem to have grown a tad uncomfortable around him. Moriarty’s fanatically incoherent stream-of-consciousness rants reveal plenty of common, idiotic tropes, but he fires them off a little bit faster than most.

Robert Morley is a columnist for The Trumpet, and a notoriously dense creationist. Short story: Morley does not have the faintest clue about how science work or what scientific evidence means. So for instance, with respect to the 2010 neanderthal genome sequencing, Morley concluded: “What did the scientists find? Simply put: Neanderthals are human. There was virtually no difference between the two codes […] The data suggests Neanderthals are as closely related to humans as Chinese are to Germans, or French to Javanese.” That, of course, was not quite what the scientists found. It is unlikely that Morley actually read the paper, but then again, it is doubtful that it would have mattered – one suspects he would have come to the same conclusion no matter what the paper had said,and no matter how carefully the scientists had stated their conclusion.

From there on, it is the standard slide to absurdity: “It is a startling admission for evolutionists because it throws a monkey wrench into conventional evolutionary theory,” to the conclusion that “science proves the Bible correct”, and that the Neandertals were actually the pre-Flood Nephilim – you know, the bad guys who provoked God to kill everyone except Noah and his family. Morley didn’t try to back up the last claim with citations from the paper he was discussion.

You can probably predict the tenor of the rest of his Trumpet columns. The correct response to the Sandy Hook massacre, for instance? Discussion about gun control is a “false dilemma”; we need to return to God.

In fact, Morley’s level of crazy goes quite a bit deeper. In this one (coauthored with one Andrew Miller) he laments Britain’s loss of its colonies and the fact that the US and Britain no longer control two-thirds of the world. How did it happen? Well, the US and Britain originally ascended to power beginning “with a promise made to the ancient patriarch Abraham in which God promised to give his descendants control of the ‘gates’ of their enemies. God gave Britain and America these commercial gates.” And why did they lose the control? Well, “God also warned that if America and Britain did not obey Him, then not only would those sea gates be taken away, but they would be used against these nations.” Precisely. And woe the situation of today. “Malta is now a member of the European Union and the eurozone. Germany is dominating the EU, and Malta is swiftly becoming a German vassal state.” Clearly a sign of the endtimes (Germany is a recurring villain (together with China) in Morley’s writings, and it is a bit unclear why). Not only is the loss of colonial imperialism a sad thing – it is, according to Morley and Miller, also a fulfillment of the prophecies of Herbert Armstrong. Yes, that Herbert Armstrong.

Diagnosis: And so it goes.

John Morton, current spiritual director of the New Age group John-Roger’s Movement for Spiritual Inner Awareness (MSIA) (in fact, Roger Delano Hinkins – John-Roger himself– is still kicking around, but we missed him). MSIA is a “nondenominational and ecumenical church,” the stated purpose of which is to “teach Soul Transcendence, which is becoming aware of yourself as a Soul and as one with God, not as a theory, but as a living reality,” and which appears to be a classic cult. The overall idea is really a matter of trying to combine the Bible (and various Eastern religions) with classical self-help techniques and woo, including various spiritual exercises and transcendental meditation. You can also subscribe to something called Soul Awareness Discourses, which are opportunities “for individuals to connect inwardly with their own Divinity, each according to their desire and intention.”

Morton, the current spiritual teacher, who regularly presents himself as “Doctor of Spiritual Science (D.S.S.)”, is the author of The Blessings Already Are and You are the Blessings, which are among the most astoundingly vapid pieces of text ever collected, and are marketed through slogans such as “Charge yourself with Spirit. Infuse yourself with Spirit. Live Spirit’s way. That is the way that goes through the Sound of God, the name of God, the word of God. It is openly offered to you. It is freely given. Are you freely choosing?” Well, you can’t testa metaphor, and it really is anyone’s guess how Morton interprets data as evidence for the claim.

The passage also gives you the main reason for why Morton is included in this Encyclopdia. His writings have made sheer vacuity into an artform, and Morton is among the most striking examples of bullshitters who have mastered the art of making vapid inanities sound profound to the weak of mind. That he is also the director of a cult doesn’t hurt. In fact, he is also the spiritual director of Insight, one of John-Roger’s other groups. Two cults.

Morton is also an occasional writer for Huffington Post, probably in part because Arianna Huffington herself is a longtime follower of John-Roger’s MSIA.

Diagnosis: Oh, the fluff! People who produce bullshit like Morton deserves exposure. In addition there is a distinct layer of evil, or at least cynicism, underneath the whole snowflaky edifice.

Steven W. Mosher is head of the Virginia-based Population Research Institute, which is not to be confused with the seriously scienfitic Population Research Institutes at e.g. Penn State or Duke, but a pro-life organization funded by the rightwing Lynde and Harry Bradley Foundation that argues that overpopulation is a myth because that suits their fundamentalist religious convictions better. Mosher, who has no research-relevant or academic credentials, has written several books on the issue. The books are, needless to say, more popular among certain segments of the religious right than among social scientists. (His Wikipedia article appears to be written by his fans but there is decent coverage here). In more detail, the PRI’s mission is to:

- debunk the myth of overpopulation, which cheapens human life and paves the way for abusive population control programs.

- expose the relentless promotion of abortion, abortifacient contraception, and chemical and surgical sterilization in misleadingly labeled “population stabilization,” “family planning,” and “reproductive health” programs. (Yeah, you probably saw right away what agenda their “research” claims were supposed to serve, didn’t you.)

- defund these programs by exposing the coercion, deception, and racism inherent in them (i.e. at bottom there is, of course, a conspiracy).

Much of their material is accordingly concerned with accusing the UN for engaging in Ethnic Cleansing (e.g. of Albanians).

To bolster their case, Mosher and his associates publish “studies” (though for the most part they try to swamp youtube with videos) painstakingly distorting and shoehorning data to support the hypothesis they have already decided must be true. They have for instance tried to “prove” that the use of oral contraceptives – the “pill” – result in an increased risk of acquiring HIV or of progressing to AIDS if HIV-positive. And of course, physicians and health workers are, according to PRI, not just wrong, but trying “to continue to contracept as many women as possible with your tax dollars and mine.” I.e. they are evil, and in a conspiracy. “The sad truth is,” Mosher thinks “USAID’s family planning programs in Africa have caused AIDS. The integration of AIDS relief and family planning is a recipe for further disaster.” Well, denialism hardly comes much more delusional than this. He has also said that “The massive distribution of condoms in Africa has not only not stopped the spread of AIDS, it has put millions of more at risk of infection in the name of prevention.” The level of delusion could almost have been hilarious if it weren’t so sad.

Mosher rose to fame in the 80s after conducting “studies” in China and being expelled from Stanford University for “illegal and unethical conduct” (though according to Mosher’s fans he was expelled after China put pressure on Stanford because they didn’t like Mosher’s results attempting to show that China had no overpopulation problem and had implemented their measures to combat overpopulation, including forced abortions, for other, more nebulous reasons). He claims that it was his observations and studies in China that made him strongly religious, but some suspect that the causal direction was the exact opposite.

The truly astonishing thing is that Mosher successfully lobbied the George W. Bush administration to withhold $34 to $40 million per year for seven years from the U.N. Population Fund, the largest international donor to family planning programs, claiming that U.S. foreign health aid should be spent saving lives, “not preventing them coming into being.” He and his institute have also later been central in undermining various humanitarian efforts to promote family planning in various areas of the world – Mosher, for instance, considers many forms of contraception “chemical abortion” because they prevent embryos from implanting in the womb.

Steven Mosher of the PRI does, however, not appear to be the same as global warming denialist Steve Mosher (e.g. here).

Diagnosis: Another crank who actively and explicitly works to make the world a worse place – and Mosher is in fact rather successful at it. In other words, Mosher is in fact one of the most nefarious and dangerous people covered in our Encyclopedia thus far.

Melvin Mulder is an apparently retired MD and creationist – currently “he is available to conduct PowerPoint seminars throughout the U.S. and Canada – suitable for general audiences, churches, high schools, colleges, Bible schools, and seminaries,” and has produced a series of 15-minute radio segments in which he lays out his “reasoning”. Yes, Mulder is devoted to outreach on behalf of creationism rather than research, which is hardly an uncommon priority among creationists or cdesign proponentsists. Nor is it particularly surprising that he possesses an almost perfect lack of understanding of evolution.

His misunderstanding is finely laid out in his book Beyond Intelligent Design (there used to be a Wikipedia description, but it was axed – still available here). The arguments should be familiar: the wonderfully question-begging argument that the information in DNA implies that there was an intelligent designer (since only intelligent agents can produce meaningful information), that irreducible complexity needs a better explanation than “chance assemblage of mindless matter” (and yes, it seems to have eluded him that evolution precisely gives one an alternative to “chance assemblage”, which is also a rather fundamental part of understanding the idea), and references to the Discovery Institute-produced petition A Scientific Dissent from Darwinism, which according Mulder’s poorly calibrated powers of reason is supposed to show that acceptance of evolution is decreasing.

He also praises the usual suspects, from Phillip Johnson to Michael Behe, for having made evolutionary biologists scramble. Since these guys have, in Mulder’s mind, already showed that scientific naturalism is a goner, Mulder happily asserts that it is now scientifically reasonable to assume a young-earth six-day creation.

His evidence is rather scant, but he does at least complain that ID does not insist that the Biblical account is the only source of true information about creation, and that ID could in principle appeal to non-believers, which takes away the need for revelation to disclose truth; thus ID is not really a serious alternative. He also takes the fact that some people at some point have been critical of Big Bang to be conclusive proof that the theory has failed – adding a bit about the starlight problem and polonium halos, phenomena he doesn’t understand and about which he therefore feels confident to say whatever he wants. He doesn’t need any positive evidence for his preferred young earth creationism. Revelation, you know. The Bible. Jesus.

Diagnosis: Delusional moron. He doesn’t have much influence, but he does at least try to spread the word. Well, word did reach us, and now he’s got a shiny new entry among the big loons of America, exposing his bullshit for everyone to see.

John Mullen is a disciple of Hulda Clark and, according to himself, “a modern-day gifted healer – a medical intuitive – who brings a unique blend of inspiration and real-world application to his clients. With more than thirty years experience in alternative therapies, supplements and herbs, John is a master at analyzing the root cause of people’s health challenges and aligning the nerves, organs and body functions so that the body can heal.” In other words, he’s a blathering crackpot, and he’ll offer you a truly inspired array of incoherent junk, from Chinese Energetic Medicine, to the Slater Vibrational Frequencies, as well as the infamous techniques of Hulda Clark, Standard Process concentrated food substances and Young Living Essential Oils. To top it off, he employs a unique remote healing technique based on energetic medicine and nerve alignment – that is, he “uses nerves to balance blood problems; body vibrations to harness viruses and bacteria; and glands to heal with neurological deficiencies.” Apparently he does not have the faintest clue how the body, physics, medicine or reality works, but what is evidence and accountability compared to John Mullen’s powers of intuition? His approach has allegedly been proven time and time again with people suffering from critical health issues, such as cancer, leukemia and strokes, but unfortunately the studies – despite their revolutionary contents – are apparently yet to be published (the actual mechanisms behind his alleged success are of course the ones described here). Mullen’s efforts have been praised in, among other things, “Road to Health” (no link), the absolutely abysmally loony newletters of Bonnie O’Sullivan.

Mullen’s practices are discussed in detail here.

Diagnosis: Maybe not the most influential of the Horde, but Mullen is surely one of the less reality responsive. Needs an entry.

Kary Mullis is a Nobel prize-winning biochemist, best known for developing the polymerase chain reaction (PCR), which is without doubt one of the most important tools in molecular biology. Outside his field of expertise, however, Mullis adheres to a range of insane pseudoscientific views and conspiracy theories, thus illustrating that it is, in fact, possible to make significant contributions to science without knowing much about how it actually works, I suppose. Among his positions you will find:

- AIDS Denialism; Mullis is fan and friend of AIDS denialist Peter Duesberg, and shares the belief that AIDS is a conspiracy involving the government, scientists, and environmentalists (the role of the latter is described in his book Dancing Naked in the Mind Field). Mullis also wrote the foreword to the book What If Everything You Thought You Knew About AIDS Was Wrong? by Christine Maggiore, a famous HIV-positive AIDS denialist who, along with her daughter, later died of AIDS. The effects of the actions of Mullis and his ilk are described here; the article also adds the Foo Fighters to the list of AIDS denialists – no, they’re not scientists, of course, but denialist groups can’t really make that distinction and survive (see for instance this excellent article on how Intelligent Design creationists are drawn to HIV denialism).

- Climate change denialism.

- Alien abductions; Mullis writes of having once spoken to a glowing green raccoon, later speculating that the raccoon “was some sort of holographic projection and … that multidimensional physics on a macroscopic scale may be responsible.” He was also using LSD at the time, but when he weighted the hypotheses the multi-dimensional alien projection clearly won out.

- Aliensdidit in general; Mullis has argued that the Urantia Book provides scientific foreknowledge, pointing out that “several scientific developments, unexpected in 1955, reported in 2005 in Science and Nature [...] were somehow described rather precisely already in the Urantia Book.” (Forgetting to note that the book’s predictions are far less accurate than the conjectures made in most other science fiction of the 50s).

- Astrology.

In short, Mullis is a prime example of a victim of the Nobel Disease, a diagnosis based on the observation that many Nobel-prize winning scientists have become notoriously prone to crankery and pseudoscience in their later years.

Diagnosis: Madman and pseudoscientist, who is trying to make damn sure that – after a huge, positive start – his overall contributions to humanity shall be overall negative. Often cited as an authority by cranks (regardless of the fact that he has no expertise in the relevant fields) – indeed, Mullis’s name undeniably adds a sheen of legitimacy to a range of pseudoscience projects – and thus not without rather significant influence.

Ray Mummert is a Pennsylvania pastor and creationist, and an ardent roadie for the side against reason during the 2006 Kitzmiller v. Dover trial. A staunch creationist, Mummert defended the schoolboard’s decision to teach creationism (under the header “intelligent design”) – which was supposed to be neutral with respect to religion, mind – by pointing out that “if we continue to indoctrinate our young people with non-religious principles, we’re headed for an internal destruction of this society” (he probably didn’t help their case, in other words). Mummert’s levels of erudition are clearly on display in his argument that “evolution is just a theory and there are other theories,” which is followed by “there is such a complexity in life, and science wants to hang its hat on a belief that life somehow started – they say there is no creator, no order [no, he has not the faintest clue about what evolution entails or requires] ... I believe there is a creator.” It is amazing how many misconceptions about evolution creationists like Mummert manage to put into a few sentences.

His main claim to fame, however, rests with his extraordinarily pertinent diagnosis of the battle over creationism. “We’ve been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture,” Mummert said, adding that the school board’s declaration is just a first step in the counteroffensive.

Kinda says all that needs saying. A similar, more disconcerting assessment, is made by one Houston Friend here.

Diagnosis: You go get’em, Ray.

Though he tries his best to spread the happy message, Bill Munro’s endorsement of hydrogen peroxide therapies for cancer (no, they don’t cure anything, and may be dangerous), and his claim to have cured his own prostate cancer in this manner, is – in the grand scheme of things – insufficient to grant him a separate entry, crazy as he may be.

William Murchison is a different matter. Murchison is an author and columnist for e.g. Chronicles, Townhall and The Lone Star Report, where he laments the absence of theocracy and compulsory religious activities for US citizens (and this guy has had a professorship in journalism, for crying out loud - at Baylor University, admittedly, but still). As most rabid fundies, his writings are permeated with paranoia, conspiracy theories and (predictable) distortions, typically: “The US. Supreme Court, in the ’60s, [determined]that the public schools enjoyed no right to allow prayer of any kind or the reading of the Bible,” which is a pretty baldfaced lie. But I guess those Biblical commandments apply to those who disagree with Murchison, not Murchison himself, for Murchison is lying for Jesus, and that makes it different.

He also laments the fact that some people are opposed to teaching Intelligent Design in public schools. The pushback from scientists is, in Murchison’s notoriously dense head, “evidence, if not of fear, perhaps of exasperation with folk who just won’t quit wanting to affirm the agency of God in creation.” The fact that Intelligent Design is completely bankrupt as a scientific theory is not an issue, for to Murchison it is all about the cage fight between Jesus and the atheists.

Diagnosis: I cannot really be bothered to research this severe case of Taliban-envy and denialism in much more detail. Murchison is stupid and evil, and that’s quite enough.

No one should doubt that Stuart Murray et al. are promoters of absolutely breathtaking nonsense (such as this), but they are also primarily Canadians and hence disqualified.

Lawrence S. Myers qualifies on all counts, however. Myers is an internet kook and defender of the hilariously silly Expanding Earth hypothesis. He defends his view on his website expanding-earth.org, which is characterized by the usual internet kook’s peculiar affection for unusual color schemes, font combinations, and unorthodox capitalization. According to Myers, he has “PROOF of Earth’s growth and expansion.” The proof in question is a map of the Earth 200 million years ago that Myers has interpreted himself (he also has to reject the generally accepted age of the earth to make his hypothesis work). At least his sentences are generally grammatical and semantically coherent, which is a step up from the usual standards achieved for this brand of pseudoscience.

There is a fine deconstruction of the expanding earth hypothesis, or subduction denialism, in three parts here, here, and here, showing pretty well how absolutely stunningly crazy the idea actually is. And no – although Myers has some cherry-picked quotes and assertions, he has of course not attempted to develop a unified theory that even begins to explain any of the phenomena such a theory would need to explain. But we’re not really waiting.

Diagnosis: Babbling internet kook. Probably harmless.

Sheri Nakken describes herself as a “Hahnemann homeopath”, and even her own self-description rather brilliantly expresses the shortcomings of the woo she peddles. Whereas science-minded inquiries attempt to align the hypotheses with reality, and therefore evolve and change with incoming evidence, homeopathy has staid the same since its pseudo-scientific emergence some 150 years ago, which illustrates its core character pretty well – it’s a dogma for which aligment to reality and evidence was never a virtue or a goal. Nakken also promotes faith healing, and has herself been heavily promoted by many of the central pushers of quackery and fraud, such as the Mothering magazine.

Nakken is furthermore a signatory to the International Medical Council of Vaccination’s list of people (mostly quacks) who believe that vaccines pose a significant risk of harm to the health of children and that there is no real science backing the “vaccine mythology” which claims that vaccines are somehow good for children. The list is about as impressive as the Discovery Institute’s A Scientific Dissent from Darwinism list.

Nakken’s online courses in homeopathy have apparently contributed to the spawning of a range of crackpots; Rolando Arafiles was for instance a one-time student of Nakken’s.

Diagnosis: Sorry, there is no way around it: Sheri Nakken is an absolutely appalling human being. And it is a tragedy that people pay her any kind of attention.

#956: Jeff Mirus

#957: David Miscavige

#958: Jason "Molotov" Mitchell

#959: Albert Mohler

#960: George Montañez(?)

#961: Stanley Monteith

#962: Melonie Montgomery

#963: Raymond Moody

#964: Marc Morano

#965: Michael Moriarty

#966: Robert Morley

#967: John Morton

#968: Steven W. Mosher

#969: Melvin Mulder

#970: John Mullen

#971: Kary Mullis

#972: Ray Mummert

#973: Bill Murchison

#974: Lawrence S. Myers

#975: Sheri Nakken