We suppose some readers may take a morbid interest in checking in on Theodore Shoebat on a regular basis with the question “who does Theodore Shoebat want to murder today?” (There is a list of people Shoebat wants murdered here.) Theodore Shoebat is the deranged spawn of fake ex-terrorist Walid Shoebat, and even more unhinged than his father. A self-proclaimed “Christian Militant”, Shoebat jr. regularly engages in incoherent screeds fuming with impotent, murderous bloodthirst, which are so over the top that even many other American Taliban figures want little or nothing to do with him. Shoebat is also a self-proclaimed “proud fascist” and fan of Franco.
Non-Christians and religious freedom
Shoebat is explicitly opposed to freedom of religion: only “idiots” and “morons” support the freedom of religion, according to Shoebat. He has therefore called for establishing blasphemy laws, for atheist and other non-Christian books, including the Qur’an, to be burned, for blasphemers to be “burned at the stake” and for atheists to be subjected to an inquisition and then put to death (the aim of the inquisition thus being somewhat unclear). Laying out his theocratic vision for America, Shoebat explains that “[o]nce someone begins to teach and to exhibit the signs of a diabolical belief system or an explicitly anti-Christian sentiment, then that person is most definitely determined to be a threat to the body. Once that person is determined to be a threat, then he has to be coerced to either stop what he is doing, reject it, or once he has become so obstinate about it, then the last resort is death.” Expressing non-Christian viewpoints cannot be tolerated, according to Shoebat, “because as soon as you allow attacks on Christianity [non-Christian viewpoints = attacks on Christianity, of course] to be enabled and to thrive, then the Christian spirit begins to decay, it begins to decline and all sorts of moral evils take place like public acts of sodomy, public acts of desecration and degenerate behavior and murder. It just spirals and it goes on and on and pretty soon you have cannibalism, pretty soon you have bestiality and pedophilia.” Part of the problem is of course how fanatic non-believers are: “when you see how fanatic they are, how much they hate Christianity, how much they hate God, how much they hate the church, you really can’t tolerate people like that and those people need the death penalty.” No, we still remain pretty convinced that this is not a poe.
He is, however, especially opposed to Muslims. Of course, he agrees with the most deranged radical Islamists on most issues, in particular the treatment of homosexuals (he has called on God to bless Chechnya for killing gay people, for instance), but sees no problems harmonizing his hatred of Islam and his hatred of homosexual people: according to Shoebat, Islam in general, and ISIS in particular, are “homosexual cults”. He has therefore suggested that Muslims should be hunted down and killed just like we did to the Native Americans – yes, Shoebat also thinks that was the right thing to do with Native Americans: “Any Indian that expressed any sort of anti-American sentiment, [Andrew Jackson] killed them. He had no tolerance for evil and wicked people. He got rid of them and he purged the society of these pagan heathens and he did an American Inquisition and that’s what we need now … Homosexuality? Death penalty. Blasphemy? Should be punished. Pagans coming in to your land? Kill the pagans, defeat them, convert the to Christianity.” Apparently, Andrew Jackson was the epitome of American Values, as Shoebat sees it. MLK, meanwhile, was a “modernist antichrist and Christ-denier”.
Still, Shoebat did praise ISIS for the Paris terror attacks, or, as he put it, for murdering “Satanists” in Paris. In his article “France Is a Godless Nation that Deserves to Be Attacked”, Shoebat argued that France has a long history of killing Christians and therefore needed to be punished, and that those who died while attending an Eagles of Death Metal concert were “worshippers of the devil” and got what they deserved. Similarly, he praised the Manchester terrorist attacks, declaring that he had no sympathy for the victims because they are all “sodomite-lovers” and “sluts.”
Shoebat has also called for the invasion of India, forced conversion of its “natives” to Christianity (“You need to Christianize the land. We need to destroy these false religions, end of story. Hinduism is an evil, demonic, anti-Christ religion. It needs to be uprooted from the earth and it has no place in the world”), and for SWAT teams to shut down yoga studios in the US: “I think the U.S. government needs to crack down on this evil, demonic thing called yoga … You’re teaching yoga, have the SWAT team bust open the doors to that place and just arrest everybody.” Oh, and “Judaism is Satanic” as well, of course.
He mostly takes a dim view of other Christians, too. When he learned that the Christian chain Chick-fil-a distanced themselves from anti-gay marriage statements made by the chain’s owner and sponsored an LGBTQ film festival, he declared that all employees of Chick-fil-a should be “burned at the stake”. Of course, such people are not, really Christians: As Shoebat sees it, Christians who don’t think every LGBTQ person should be killed are not Christian and should themselves also be executed. When radical anti-gay extremist Peter LaBarbera admitted that genocide might not be in line with mainstream Christian ideals, Shoebat called him a “filthy pig” and “demonoid”. Yes, even LaBarbera. The traitors are everywhere. Glenn Beck, for instance, is a practitioner of “Chrislam” trying to lure his audience into Islamo-Mormonic deistic universalism, with the help of guys like James Robison, Franklin Graham, and David Barton. Michael Brown, on the other hand, is in a Satanic conspiracy with “sodomites” and “La Raza terrorists,” and anti-Islam activist Robert Spencer is “now supporting the Islamic jihad”. Indeed, any version of Christianity except Catholicism is Satanic; after all, “Martin Luther gave birth to Nazi ideology, and Nazism is going to return again with Luther as its prophet. Catholic Christendom will rise again and destroy the demonic religion of Luther,” declares Shoebat.
Shoebat has also, in a moment of astounding lack of self-insight even for him, attacked Ayaan Hirsi Ali for suggesting that Christian Fundies can be just as bad as Muslim ones.
Homosexuals
A fierce critic of homosexuality, homosexuals and gay rights, Shoebat regularly expresses his opposition to what he calls “gay sharia” and “homo tyranny”. As Shoebat sees it, “[t]he homosexual movement is the most hateful and most vile group in all of the Western world. The sodomites are supremacists; they believe that they have the superior lifestyle, a disposition and constitution more superior than the ‘others,’ who they consider as inferior breeders. This is the ideology of sodomism. Sodomism is the ideology of homosexual superiority, in which the homosexuals desire to usher in – through propaganda, violence and state coercion – a utopia in which homosexuality is seen as a supreme ideal, and those who believe in the conjugal union as is affirmed and established by the Christian Faith, are viewed and treated as enemies.” Ultimately, according to Shoebat, the gays will slaughter all the Christians in concentration camps. Yeah, we have freed us from the chains that anchor us to reality a long time ago.
To deal with the gay question, Shoebat suggests not only burning the rainbow flag but adopting thoroughly medieval views on homosexuality, and he has (repeatedly) declared his support for an “inquisition” with the goal of exterminating gay people. And it is urgent: gay people must be executed before they succeed in their effort “transform the Scouts into a Nazi-like gay youth club” that will be used to attack Christianity. And make no mistake (Shoebat will not hesitate to remind us): “there is only one solution to the homosexual agenda, and that is death”, since gays “are no different than terrorists and should be treated as such”. So the best solution is to “bring back the inquisition”. He did, however, receive some pushback from other anti-gay activists over his claim that Jesus would personally kill gay people, which led him to declare that there was an “inquisition” targeting him in order to make him renounce his views (thereby confirming our suspicion that he doesn’t quite understand what “inquisition” means). His father fortunately came to his defense, pointing out that Jesus destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, hence illustrating that according to the Bible, Jesus would, indeed, personally beat homosexuals to death if given the chance.
He has also complained that homosexuals have sent him death threats, promptly declaring that “all” homosexuals therefore want to kill all Christians. As an example, when the Duck Dynasty series landed in some controversy in 2013 over some comments by Phil Robertson, Shoebat concluded that “[t]he Sodomite nazis are going after Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty , simply because he pointed out a truth to the darkness of the sick, violent, and twisted mindset of homosexuals […] Now they they are suspending him. What the homosexuals want to do to Christians in America is what Muslims are already doing to Christians: slaughter and enslave them. This is why we must fight this evil, and help save persecuted Christians in the Muslim world. Donate now and save Christian lives.” (Note the coda.) “The only thing vile in this situation is what sodomites contrive and partake in, they indulge themselves in acts so diabolical, in things worthy of death (Romans 1:32), and yet we are so careful to make sure that they are tolerated. The sodomite just quoted spoke of ‘loving and committed gay and lesbian couples.’ Really? Let me show you how sinister these morally inept and demonic followers of Satan are …” (and then he cites exactly one example of an abusive gay couple.) Yes, according to Shoebat “the homosexual agenda” is “about conquest, and the persecution of Christians”: “If they succeed, we will live under an outright Homosexual inquisition, and if they really had their way, they would build a homosexual empire.” In conclusion, gay men hold a demonic hatred toward women, and homosexuality and cross-dressing should therefore be outlawed: “Outlaw the sodomite before he outlaws you,” says Shoebat: “You either make the sodomites submit to Christian morality, to the law of God, to the law of Heaven or they will force you to submit. There is no other choice;” and just to be clear: by “submit” he means “be put to death”, because homosexuals, like atheists and “fanatical feminists” and Muslims, “war against the Faith, promote death and hate life”: “a noble government will arise and give these perverts the only thing they need: the sword!”
Shoebat did, however, criticize the 2016 Orlando massacre. He criticized it because it should have been “The State”, not Omar Mateen, who “killed the sodomites”, by firing squad. Then he declared that the real victims of the attack were people like him who are being unfairly painted as radicals simply because they openly advocate putting gay people to death.
He is also a supporter of vigilantes in other countries who attack LGBT people, and wants the same to happen in the US, saying that “I wish America had this stuff” – physically assaulting gay activists is, as he sees it theologically justified – though he also wishes the police would be “given the opportunity” to kill more gay people, of course. Killing homosexuals should certainly not be considered a hate crime; after all, “fags kill each other all the time, and the reason why they kill each other all the time is because they’re demon-possessed people and Satan wants them to kill each other because Satan hates humanity.”
Apparently, part of the problem with homosexuality, according to Shoebat, is its link to cannibalism, apparently because of Jeffrey Dahmer. His explanation for drawing the connection is worth highlighting, since it is probably even more deranged than you imagined! You see, the problem with America is that it is too individualistic, only punishing criminals for the crimes they have committed instead of imposing collective punishments in an effort to root out the beliefs or behaviors that led to the crime in the first place. Hence, the correct response to the crimes of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer would have been to not only punish him for his transgressions, but then also outlaw homosexuality because “it leads to serial killers, it leads to cannibalism, it leads to murder” and is a danger to the collective Christian society. And make no mistake, gay people really want to be murderers and cannibals and the only thing keeping them from doing that is that it’s against the law, as Shoebat sees it. Given Shoebat’s own predilection for murder and torture, combined with his stupidity, it is not hard to see where he is coming from. He did cite what he took to be evidence for a connection between homosexuality and Dahmer, though: a series of papers released by the American Psychological Association that suggest that “rates of military sexual trauma among men who served in the military may be as much as 15 times higher than has been previously reported,” from which he concluded that gay soldiers are committing tens of thousands of sexual assaults every year and that “[c]annibalism and homosexuality and rape are all interconnected.” Critics may point out some holes in the reasoning, but then they wouldn’t be true Christians.
In his criticisms of Southern Decadence, an annual rave for gay people in New Orleans, Shoebat was determined merely to follow the evidence wherever it would take him. Where it took him was that he wanted all the participants killed, of course. They should be killed because they regularly kidnap young boys and rape and kill them during the event. A weakness of Shoebat’s argument is of course that the evidence he relies on is taken from nowhere but his own deranged excuse for a mind.
Shoebat also wanted the publishers of National Geographic tortured and “burned at the stake” (“this is the problem that I have with the First Amendment … In the Catholic Church, the whole damn crew behind National Geographic would be tried and once they are found guilty, they would be burned at the stake”) because they featured a nine-year-old transgender girl on their cover. Shoebat called the girl “Little Nazi Hitler”: “The kid is obviously evil, obviously a reprobate, obviously just diabolical. You’re a freak. You’re a little demon. You’re a little Nazi Hitler … This little freak would not mind sticking people like me in a gas chamber,” proclaimed Shoebat. “This is sick shit.” There is clearly some sick shit here, yes.
In general, Shoebat thinks that transgender children are “utterly wicked” and that “parents who encourage this behavior should be arrested and executed.” He wants the children executed, too.
On women
Shoebat believes that women should be banned from voting and holding office. “I don’t believe in women in politics,” Shoebat has declared: “I don’t believe in women voting. I don’t believe in the suffragist movement, I don’t believe in women in politics. If they’re so righteous, let them stay at home and teach their children that righteousness.” Indeed, the failure of mothers to raise their children to be proper Christians, he warned, is leading to everything from “losers drinking out of beer bongs and smoking pot” to restaurants serving “steaks made out of human flesh;” yeah, that stream-of-consciousness rant took a somewhat surprising turn, even by Theodore Shoebat’s standards. Meanwhile, feminists who do things he doesn’t like should be “burned at the stake”, of course.
When Trump suggested that women who undergo abortions should be punished, Shoebat agreed, and called women who undergo abortions “sluts”. Then he called for their execution by firing squad.
Miscellaneous politics
Shoebat is a sometime Trump supporter, criticizing what he takes to be a“Satanic conspiracy” against the president, mostly because he hopes that Trump will kill Muslims, but also because he hopes Trump will soon enact legislation to have gays and abortionists executed. However, after Trump waved a Rainbow Flag at one of his rallies, Shoebat withdrew his endorsement and called for Trump’s execution instead.
As mentioned above, Shoebat expresses deep admiration for (his image of) medieval Christianity, including the genocide of Cathars, Waldensians and heretical Christian sects on account of their “false beliefs”. He has also criticized evangelical Christian leaders for condemning the genocide. As Shoebat sees it, we ought to return to the Middle Ages, when they had no “fag problem”. Indeed, Shoebat has called for a a return to absolute monarchy, pointing out that he doesn’t believe in democracy: “Democracy. More like Demon crazy. The first attempt at democracy was in the Heaven, when Satan and the demons wanted to reform the government and oust out the King, God. God believes in monarchy, Satan believes in democracy. Hence democracy is demon crazy.” At least it looks like an argument. He has also called for a new “crusade”, claiming that “God wants one”.
Shoebat believes that one of the most serious problems facing us today is witchcraft, and he want “practitioners” of witchcraft to be put to death (but of course). And since Hillary Clinton, according to Shoebat, has been using black magic to gain popularity, she should be put to death. In fact, Clinton is also a devil worshipper – Shoebat literally cites his own imagination as evidence for the claim – and a lesbian who “would love to see the death of all Christians. I kid you not. Do not think for a second that that woman, if she had the chance, would [hesitate to] put people like me in concentration camps, would put Christians in concentration camps and kill Christians,” so “What do you think she deserves? This type of woman, this evil, wicked woman, what do you think she deserves? She deserves the death penalty. End of story.”
No fan of Obama, Shoebat has pointed out that “[i]n the most national prayer breakfast, Obama diverted the subject from ISIS and began to express his hatred against the Christian Crusades. The reason for this is because Obama hates Christians and Christianity, and is himself a Muslim jihadist. He continues to support Islam while hating Christianity, and heavily funds and supports the jihadists in Syria. His own family are Muslims and work with terrorists.”
Sensing some opposition from other rightwingers to some of his proposals, Shoebat has also declared that “both Stephen Bannon and Ann Coulter are absolutely evil, they are enemies of Christendom and are filled with the spirit of Antichrist;” Coulter, in particular, is a “fascistic bitch” who should be put to death for associating with “fags.” The same, apparently, goes for Pam Geller and Tomi Lahren, who is a “little Nazi’ worthy of being put to death for being pro-choice, as well as Milo Yiannopoulos and Gavin McInnes, and not the least Marco Rubio: Shoebat ostensibly longs for the days when Marco Rubio would be hung from the gallows. It is important to weed out the less-than-ideologically-pure in this crucial battle against the totalitarianism of the gay rights movement.
Shoebat has some views on Brexit, too: “Britain Just Left The EU, And This Will Eventually Lead To A Revived Nazi Germany That Will Go To War With Christendom,” Shoebat declared after the 2016 referendum in a completely random stream of consciousness. We haven’t bothered to determine whether he thinks the fulfillment of his prediction is a good thing or not.
To pull all the strands together, Shoebat has released 858-page book titled Christianity is at War: The Manifesto for Christian Militancy. We recommend maintaining a safe distance to anyone who has actually read it.
There is a decent Theodore Shoebat resource here.
Diagnosis: Possibly the most deranged, hateful and bloodthirsty person with regular access to media in the Western world and possibly anywhere, Shoebat seems determined to demonstrate that there is, indeed, a position to be carved out on the extreme side of ISIS. An utterly repugnant character, of course, but it’s hard to look away.